MERCH! MERCH! MERCH!

While the expansion to 32 players for tKOXIII is a great step in the right direction, The Kendallville Open won’t reach the lofty goals I have set until our brand is global! I’m talking Big Baller Brand levels. I basically won’t be satisfied until I see some random dude walking through an airport terminal in some distant country rocking the tKO logo. So what am I getting at here? You guessed. MERCH.

I’m sure your KENDALLVILLE shirt from tKOIX is already in tatters from how much you wear it. And your Cobblestone and Glendarin Hills shirts can’t be far behind. So this is where tKOVIII Rookie of the Year and Vice President of Social Outreach and Sponsorship Pete steps in. Pete’s already deep in talks with the good folks at Criquet about a high end tKO logoed polo. If you aren’t familiar with Criquet, they’re deep in the cool kid golf circles, think LinkSoul and Travis Mathew, basically golf gear that you can wear out in public without looking like your dad. No offense Wally, who is definitely not reading this. The design isn’t final yet, but after hitting the runways of Milan for inspiration, we’re thinking a simple black slimmer fit polo with a subtle white tKO logo on the sleeve cuff, perfect to go directly from the boardroom to the first tee.

criquet

Don’t you want to look like this sex machine?

This definitely will fall out of the price range that Mike and I set for the annual gift, but we want to make it available to anyone that is interested in looking like the hottest motherfucker on the block. Pricing will depend on how many we order, but we’re estimating somewhere in the $70 range, unless Pete can make some magic happen or there’s some ridiculous Black Friday deal.

Some direct quotes from Pete, as if you needed anymore enticement:

  • “above dior quality”
  • “a pocket to hold a magnum prophylactic to satisfy Kendall at the turn or our buddy at GDH to lure you in”
  • “cotton fibers softer than Paige Renee’s areolas”
  • “buttons affixed with threads of Tommy Fleetwoods hair vs traditional string”
  • “Come in both Former Keith and Current Keith fits”

The online store is still under construction at the moment, so you’ll just have to hit me up for now if you are interested. I don’t know, sounds the perfect holiday gift to me….

179 Days until The Kendallville Open XIII

169 Days until the 10 day forecast for tKOXIII

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3 thoughts on “MERCH! MERCH! MERCH!

  1. Maxxinista says:

    How many sperm/semen-related logos will it have? Assuming zero, I’m out.

  2. Keithtosis says:

    Sign me up! This is a great idea.

  3. […] holiday gifts, Santa’s Little Helper Pete is still hard at work finalizing the details on the custom polos, so we’re still accepting orders! As of publishing, here’s who is interested in looking […]

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