Hello? Is this thing on?

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Maybe I didn’t do a great job updating the site or throwing up a recap post this year. But I finally got around to updating the history page and player bios with the Kendallville Open XII results, so how about a little pat on the back for the commish? Seeing how tKOXII was two months ago, putting up a detailed recap post is a little outside of my scope at the moment, but rest assured that tKOXII was every bit the classic of all the past tKO’s, with the exception of tKOX that I won in dominating fashion. Feel free to expound on this post with your own memories in the comments.

I like to think of the tKO history in eras with the Mike’s and I obviously representing the Golden Age. tKOIII through tKOVII is like the Renaissance, marked by our flourishing growth both in numbers and in culture. But the winner’s circle this represented the best of the Age of Enlightenment (tKOVIII – tKOXII), the expansion that truly opened the door for  the Kendallville Open to become what it now is. Andre, Tall James, and Trey have shown as much excitement and passion for the Kendallville Open as anyone who has ever attended, if not more. Like the miraculous clear skies on Saturday morning (remember when a bunch of you wanted to quit on Friday night? I hate you.), new blood on all our trophies was long overdue.

Even more so than the new tKO rota, the most influential change we made for tKOXII was the introduction of the Bixler Saturday flighting. Players were now flighted by the Bixler scoreboard, leading to some fresh faces (and Danny) in the Trash Flight. Somehow last year’s RDGC champion White James found himself there, along with Trey and Wally. While it doesn’t deserve a hole by hole breakdown, because it’s the Trash Flight, it still was an epic battle. Wally came into his 16th hole in a hole as deep of the Marina Trench. Using his brand new non-flip phone, he was calculating how much it was going cost him to ship that god awful trophy all the way back to Hawaii. That’s when Trey showed up and said “hold my beer, while I shoot a 12”. BOOM, THE GAME IS ON. A bogey-bogey finish would be enough to save Wally by the skin of his teeth and send the DFL back home to Indianapolis with Trey. But like a true gentleman and worthy champion, he displayed that tetanus infested hunk of metal proudly.

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In the race for the Bixler, well, there really wasn’t much of one. Tall James jumped out to a dominating lead after round one and didn’t slow down during the second round when some spotty weather came through. It was hard to see from all the way back in the Recycle Flight where I was, but word was getting around that the wheels might have gotten a little wobbly when Ian made a valiant charge late on Saturday morning. But by then, the Bixler tailors were already getting Tall James’ measurements for the Blazer. This was a dominating performance the likes we’ve only seen at tKOX (ME) and when Marty sandbagged his way to something like a 30 stroke victory. I haven’t seen pictures of it yet, but I trust Tall James has worn his Tall Boyz jersey and Bixler Blazer to Encore Beach Club, while bikini-cad 22 year olds are bringing sparklers and champagne to his cabana with Floyd Mayweather.

 

While the Bixler finish was a little anticlimactic, the same cannot be said for the RDGC. Even though Tall James had 7 stroke lead on the Bixler leaderboard, he only had two strokes on Andre in the RDGC , and in the white hot cauldron of tKO, two strokes can disappear in the blink of an eye. But through 45 holes, it certainly looked like the Kendallville Open would have its first Double, the most elusive and sought after trophy in all of sport. On-the-scene witness Robinson is quoted as saying “I think Nate and TJ were pretty laid back from the start. They spent the first, I kid you not, 4 holes talking business, like grocery store shit. You could tell Dre was in it from the start.” Andre has been eyeing the RDGC since before he was even in the tKO field, and the back nine at Glendarin, like so many tKO’s before, was the time to make dreams come true. Tall James fought off a haymaker from Dre, after dunking his tee shot on #10, he managed to grind out a bogey and not lose any ground. However, TJ wouldn’t be so lucky on #14. A wayward drive would give Dre hope that this man was indeed mortal. After trading bogeys on #15, Dre and Tall James stepped on to the #16 tee tied for the RDGC Cup. And if there’s anyone at tKO who is always in the right “state of mind” to handle an incredible stressful moment, it’s Andre. His all class par-par-par finish absolutely buried any chances TJ had of winning the Double. It was a closing run reminiscent of the Robinson Era, many, many tKO’s ago. It’s been a long time coming that Andre would have name forever etched into the tKO history books.

May 19th, 2018 – The Beginning of the Andreign

 

 

To say we took things to another level for the team tournament at tKOXII would be such an understatement that it would be insulting. Look at this fucking shit.

 

 

For god sake, even Team Totally Irresponsible got in on the act.

 

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Unfortunately, it appears that team chemistry has an adverse effect on team performance as Eleven* Pints and a Blazer (now Twelve* Pints and Two Blazers) won yet again. FART NOISE. However, shoutout to Jeremy for almost kind of getting the dinner party!

Sorry for the massive delay. I know it’s been quiet on here for the last two months, but not for long. In the meantime, keep an eye out for Asian James-styled cart covers and rain gear, because I’ve about had it with people bitching about rain like I have any kind of control over that shit. While I haven’t done a great job getting the tKOXII recap up in a timely manner, fret not! The Kendallville Open is always top of mind.  Big EXPANSIVE announcements coming soon.

300 Days until The Kendallville Open XIII

290 Days until the 10 day forecast for tKOXIII

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6 thoughts on “Hello? Is this thing on?

  1. Weatherman says:

    That big news better be moving the tourney to after memorial day!

    • Yosh says:

      Are the rumors true that you’ll be starting up a new floating tournament that will come together in a matter of moments, only once the perfect forecast is confirmed?! V v excited for you “Weatherman”!

  2. Keithtosis says:

    While I’m happy my name was not mentioned in this for DFL I’m also sad now to be in the middle of nowhere like the rest of you scrubs who never get mentioned. Only way to go, keep going up.

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