Couple things before the grand reveal of all the team names.
- Big shout out to everyone who has already paid. There’s still a handful of guys who haven’t paid yet. If you can get it to me by the end of the month, it would be much appreciated. After that, I’m going to start putting you on blast. Shame, shame, shame.
- Handicaps will be finalized on May 8th, so whatever you have in Fairway Files that morning is what we’ll be using for tKOXI. I need a couple weeks to make sure I have things setup correctly for our matches and on Golf Gamebook.
- Speaking of Golf Gamebook, Eddie, Wally, Marty and Cahill are the only people who aren’t on the app right now. Wally has a phone that was built by Alexander Graham Bell himself, so he has an excuse. I’ve already saddled Eddie with Danny, so I don’t want to put too much on him already, however I’d really appreciate if he got on there. Marty and Cahill, are you two out here just to make me miserable? It’s been 3 years already. Download the goddamn app.
Time to meet you competition…
tKO Success Ranking [TSR] = RDGC’s + Bixler’s + Flight Pints – DFL’s
Roll With The Winners – Andre, Ben, Ian, Bryce
TSR = 1
The early favorites to go back to back and take home the title. While the team name certainly makes sense this year, going with it last year was an awfully bold statement, considering they have no titles and only 2 flights between the entire team (and a pre-expansion DFL). But they got those sweet hats though.
Nine Pints* And a Blazer – Asian James, Tall James, Greg, Jeremy
TSR = 10
Immediately after the draw this was the consensus pick for mostly likely to knock off RWTW. I’ve been on scramble teams with all these guys & each of them bring something to the table. Tall James & Greg can blast it. Jeremy has a speaker & like a typical Asian, AJ has charging station. Bonus points for incredible logo details.
Random Team Name Generators – White James, Eddie, Kevin, Danny
TSR = 2 (oof.)
No idea what to expect here. White James & Kevin together again, hopefully with better results than last year. Danny back after a year hiatus. & Eddie. Oh Eddie, you’re in for an interesting weekend. I heard there was a Team Jim Harbaugh’s idea that involved Walmart khakis that got killed. Chemistry issues already?
Wally & The Whales – Cahill, Wally, Aschman, Pete
TSR = 5
Absolutely fascinating to see how the team dynamic goes here. Will the uber-chill of Wally & Cahill counteract Volcano Cahill? Are there just too many personalities here? As an ex-Tall Boy, I have the utmost faith in Pete to pull this team together, but he’s going to have his hands full.
Three F Mafia – Fuck Fairway Files – Rich, Lloyd, Marty, Caravello
TSR = 5
And here is my pick to unseat the champs. Probably the most affable dude from each pool all on one team. They’re like a super team of fun to be around dudes, the Golden State Good Dudes. Very excited to see how the rest of the boys do with deciphering Lloyd’s accent, especially after 15 Bud Lights.
Glendarin Hills Swim Team – Nathan, Austin, Shane, Sutton
TSR = 9
These ballsacks were moments away from being Team Dick Hair when the came through with this gem of a team name. And their own highlight reel! GHST is kind of paired off with Nate/Sutton and Shane/Austin, but I don’t see anyway these guys don’t become fast friends. Which means over par score in the scramble.
And saving the best for last….
The Marlboro Men – Robinson, Yosh, Hart, Keith
TSR = 9
Cute names and all, you guys, but there was really never a competition. Just wait until what you see what we have in store for the weekend, that is if you can see us behind a cloud of smoke.
Look for those Glendarin Hills previews to start dropping next week. We’re exactly 4 weeks from D-Day. Time to start getting focused.