Big ups to everyone who’s already paid ($470 to my PayPal, Chase QP, or Venmo!). So far we have 7 people in for the practice round: me, Wally, Robinson, Asian James, White James, Lloyd, Austin. Let me know if you are in for that by the end of April. Also, get me those team names & logos by next weekend or else…
Cobblestone #10 – Par 4 – 365 yards – Handicap #6
tKO Average: 5.52 (+1.52, 8th hardest for tko participants)
Here we go. The second nine at Cobblestone. You can smell the Applebee’s. You’re almost there.
Despite the huge lake on the right, there’s ways to work around it. After 10 years, I’ve tried them all. If you want to be a pansy, pull an iron off the tee and leave yourself another long iron into the green. At least you’re dry. But we aren’t going to do that. Go ahead and reach in your bag for the big dog. Plenty of room to the left. Yes, it’s the driving range, but if you pick your ball out, you have a pretty open shot at the green. You’ll probably have to avoid the locals pounding away at the range, but no one has that kind of accuracy. The pro move here is to blast is a mile right, like so far right you are on the other side of the lake, in the eleventh fairway. It leaves you a blind approach, but does that really make a difference? I’ll answer that. It doesn’t.
Cobblestone #11 – Par 4 – 390 yards – Handicap #2
tKO Average: 5.73 (+1.73, 2nd hardest for tko participants)
This goddamn hole. I’m honestly shocked we don’t average a quadruple bogey here. Since I don’t know have the ability to intentionally hit the ball left, I’ve never tried it. But that’s the move here. Take the water on the right completely out of play. Because it’s some kind of geographic anomaly, you can’t miss this one far enough right to recover, even though it’s a mirror image of #10. It must be the prevailing winds or something. I have no fucking clue. No matter how good of a drive you hit, the second shot still going to be a long one into an uphill green, so take an extra club.
Chances are most of you are out of the running at this point and boozing pretty hard. Since Cobblestone shockingly does NOT have a cart girl, now’s your last chance to pop back into the pro shop and pick up one last sixer. So go ahead and do that before heading over to #12.
Cobblestone #12 – Par 3 – 158 yards – Handicap #12
tKO Average: 4.33 (+1.33, 15th hardest for tko participants)
Before we discovered it was possible to shotgun beers off the horn of a unicorn, I always considered #12 to be the signature hole of the Kendallville Open. Back when we started the tournament at Cobblestone on Friday afternoons, #12 was the first hole you saw as you pulled in the parking lot, marking the beginning of the weekend. Even now that we start the tournament and do the practice round at Noble Hawk, I’ll still stop by Cobblestone when I first get to town, and #12 will just take my breath away.
As close as we get to an island green all weekend, distance control is at an absolute premium. Water short, and a severe incline behind the green leaves you with a crazy intimidating downhill chip if you go long. And if you manage to hit the green, it’s not over. Massive tiers all over this green make 3 putts almost a lock.Your boy threw an absolute dart last year (*yawn* another CTP), but the asshole greenskeeper put the pin on a massive ridge line. I walked off with a double bogey, after a smooth four putt, all with Ben laughing hysterically from the tee box. Eat shit, Ben.