Even though you savages gave Pete absolutely no (comment) love for his post last week, announcing our sponsorship of the East Noble High boys golf team, like the true tKO-er he is, Pete soldiered on, nailing down two more sponsorships! [SIDE BAR: No comments on that post? Really guys? You guys are real assholes.]
Check the new masthead!
Pete was able to secure RX Bars, the official performance bar of the Kendallville Open, for everyone in the field. Asian James, as someone who without fail will fall apart on Friday afternoon due to exhaustion, you should be the most excited about this partnership. If you’ve never had them, RX Bars are the exclusive snacks for hot girls in Lululemon pants, so I have no idea how Pete was able to convince them that our field was worth. He must have said that everyone looks like Nate.
And not Danny.
Our other new sponsor, Dick’s Sporting Goods, is more a testament to all the work Pete has done driving up corporate interest in the Kendallville Open. All you need to know is that a package arrived at Pete’s door, unprompted, from Dick’s last week, containing roughly 500 coupons and a $50 gift card (that we sadly cannot use to purchase firearms). They must have seen how much we’ve already added to Applebee’s brand and wanted to jump on board while the getting is good. So if anyone wants to buy anything golf related from Dicks prior to tKOX, just let me know and I’ll send over some coupons.
Here’s what’s happening with that $50 gift card. We’re messing with the format this year and I couldn’t be more excited. We did a test run with this at the Fall Swing and it couldn’t have worked out better. This is how it’s going to work.
We’re obviously keeping the 4 man teams (reminder: Draft Party is next Friday at Jefferson Tap, live streaming available on the website). But new this year, rounds 1 and 2 will consist for four 9 hole one v. one matches, obviously handicapped. You’ll be in the cart with one of your teammates for both rounds. For example, let’s say Andre & Bryce (RWTW) are playing against Tall James and I (RIP Tall Boyz) at Noble Hawk. For holes 1-9, it will be Andre vs Tall James and Bryce vs me. Then Holes 10-18, Andre vs me and Bryce vs Tall James. A match won will be worth 2s point for your team, halved matches worth 1 point. IF I CAN KEEP IT SECRET LONG ENOUGH, we’ll be announcing the match ups on Thursday night, post photo op with the EN Knights. But more than likely, I’ll get too excited and just post them in like a week. Saturday morning, we’ll be flighted according to the RDGC leaderboard after two rounds, and you’ll play against your flight. 3 points for 1st, 2 for 2nd, 1 for 3rd, and 0 for 4th. And Saturday afternoon will be the scramble, with strokes under par as points and over par as negative points for the team, per ush.
The INDIVIDUAL with the most points after Round 3 will win the tKO Golden Boot ($50 to Dick’s) for highest scorer of the tournament. Tie breaker is final standing on the Bixler scoreboard.
I hope you spend all $50 on Big League Chew. That shit is the bomb.