Noble Hawk #3 & #4

Chairman’s Note: Ben did some deep internet diving on the dark web and found the instructional videos for each hole that used to be on their website. While Mike Pasquali looks like Noble Hawk’s pro, he’s not wearing a Bixler Blazer, so I’m not sure why you’d take his advice over mine (or Robinson’s to a lesser extent). Anyway, I’ll start including his videos in these posts as well.

Noble Hawk #3 – Par 4 – 381 yards – Handicap #9

tKO Average: 5.53 (+1.53, 7th hardest for tko participants)
#3 is really the last hole you’ll see before Noble Hawk starts to bare its teeth. Trouble on the left will force you to try and play it safe down the right side. While Robinson’s depiction doesn’t really show it, this will leave you with must longer approach into the green. Whatever you do, do not miss this green long. A steep drop off and thick brush makes it an absolute graveyard. You’ll need to capitalize here, because it’s about it get real.
Note to Danny: While it’s a waste area down the left side of the fairway, and not a bunker, it is not encouraged to drive your cart directly into it. I know you have a long history with carts and bunkers.

Noble Hawk #4 – Par 5 – 540 yards – Handicap #3

tKO Average: 6.31 (+1.31, 12th hardest for tko participants)

Are you man enough to pull driver out here? Are you also man enough to take your drop because you just blasted your ball into the cow pasture that’s on the other side of the trees on the right? And don’t forget about that pond on the left either.  It may look out of play in this drawing but it is very much in play (DRAWINGS NOT TO SCALE!). We’ve all seen more than a few hooked tee shots as you’re trying to muster up that extra juice for a 235 yd drive. You might think you have a baby arm swinging between your legs and that you can reach this green in two mighty lashes. Trust me, you cannot. Even if you nut your drive, you’re looking at a 200+ yard shot into a completely hidden green with a pond on the left, that Robinson conveniently forgot to include here.

Want to win a championship like your boy? Take your medicine, hit three 7 irons and hope to get out of there with a bogey. Over the course of the tournament, you’ll have plenty of chances to flex your muscles. This is not one of them.

Noble Hawk #5 & #6 coming Monday….

14 thoughts on “Noble Hawk #3 & #4

  1. WJ says:

    That’s bullshit that you can’t get to #4 in two Brendan. I have been over in two with a Driver /9 iron. It is possible I am sure even for lesser humans.

    • MR says:

      Driver / NINE IRON?! I call BS…it’s 540 yds bro, you ain’t Dustin Johnson.

      • WJ says:

        You were riding in the cart with me when it happened. Drove it up the right side with the wind at my back and hung it out there. I was in the rough on top of the hill right in front of that bunker in your drawing there. Hit 9 iron over.

      • WJ says:

        Its also possible I got some benefit from the cart path…

      • Yosh says:

        Driver – 9 iron and over the green!??!?! Only Ian is capable of something like that. I’ll only believe you if this was the year you won it and actually played up to your skill level.

    • MR says:


  2. Anonymous says:

    Not that my previous comment about trans-gender sex workers in bus station bathrooms wasn’t helpful to the group, you left off the large antenna behind the green on #4 that I use to line up my 450 yard drop/ second shot.

    • MR says:

      We should really figure out a way to group-source these drawings. It’s become clear after just 4 holes that my memory of hole details is quite sketchy!

  3. Rich says:

    Didn’t it look like he totally shanked that 4-iron OB on #4. Either my vision is going or he had some draw on that iron. 4-6-PW is my play. Keeps it safe, no worse than a bogey

  4. AJ says:

    Pasqualli pulled that 3rd shot from 120 out

  5. AJ says:

    Birdie my ass

  6. Keith says:

    Ahhhh I hate that hole. Fuck you Pasquali, how about you come show me how to hit it out of that grave yard in 5 shots. Extra club my ass.

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