Your Official tKO Strategy Guide…

Before I jump into the hole breakdowns, we’ll do the teams draft on Friday, April 7th, live streamed (of course). We haven’t picked a location yet, but we’ll either shoot for something near Union Station or close to that stop off Armitage for you suburbanites. Expect a more detailed post in a couple weeks, just wanted to get something on your calendars for now.

I mentioned it briefly on Friday’s post, but I’m sure you guys were so focused on sizing up Eddie that you might have missed the other big news. Starting today and over the next 54 (business) days, Mike and I will be breaking down every hole of the tournament. I must reiterate that this is being done strictly from memory, which is extremely impressive when you see the detail of Mike’s MS Paint hole renditions. Our goal is for this to become a living, breathing document, where you can add your own thoughts, memories, and course management suggestions in the comment section. This means you assholes would have to actually go to the site, instead of just reading the emails. GIVE ME MY CLICKS.

Now on to your strategy guide.


Round 1 – Noble Hawk – Par 71 – tKO Field Average: 97.6

Once the home of the championship round, Noble Hawk was moved to the opening venue for tKOIX when we changed to the two day format. While most of Noble Hawk’s most memorable moments came when it was played on Sunday, perhaps its most significant was at tKOX when the Kendallville Open was presented with an official proclamation from the city of Kendallville for what our tournament has brung to the community over the last decade.
With the lowest score to par of all three courses (+26.6 – ugh), Noble Hawk is your opportunity to post a score and set the tone for the weekend, which is exactly what Austin did during his tKOIX Bixler title run. His 86 at Noble Hawk gave Austin enough of a buffer to win the blazer, despite limping to the finish line. This is also the site of Asian James annual low round, because fatigue sets in after lunch and ruins his chances.
On to the hole by hole breakdowns… (Again, I cannot overstate this enough, every review is being done strictly from memory. Some images may not be to scale.)

Noble Hawk #1 – Par 4 – 391 yards – Handicap #11

tKO Average: 5.09 (+1.09, 17th hardest for tko participants)
NH 1

The first step in your journey towards immortality. The tournament starts out with a friendly little dogleg right. The big hitters (shout out to Ian) can drive the cart path leaving an easy chip (which he will chunk) as the approach shot. The shorter hitters will need a short to mid iron on their second shot, assuming their drive did not end up in someone’s yard a million yards right of the fairway.  

Those beautifully drawn moguls (editor’s note: any comment praising the artistic brilliance of the hole drawings is likely Robinson’s) on either side of the fairway may seem benign in print but with lush grass covering them, they’re ripe to swallow an errant opening tee shot or two, drowning your championship efforts before they’ve even begun.

Up until tKOIX, Noble Hawk was home to the final round of the tournament, with #1 being the site of the one and only playoff hole in tKO (non-Scramble) History. Here Robinson secured his fourth RDGC Cup when Rich missed a shorty that would have forced a second playoff hole. I’m pretty sure we can blame that entirely on his caddy Keith, who was so hungover, he barely made it from the tee to the green alive.

Noble Hawk #2 – Par 3 – 165 yards – Handicap #17

tKO Average: 4.15 (+1.15, 15th hardest for tko participants)

NH 2

Even when playing into the wind, the water really shouldn’t come into play here for your average golfer, which is to say 95% of the field is absolutely terrified standing over this tee shot. As I’m sure you can see from Robinson’s incredibly detailed illustration here, this is actually a double green, shared with #16. I’ve never actually seen someone pull their tee shot so badly that they are putting from the “other” green, but that’s not to say it hasn’t happened. If you’ve been witness to this at tKO, please provide a detailed breakdown in the comments.

The first ever Kendallville Open, back in 2008, a torrential downpour moved in and our event was cut short here. We didn’t see the rest of the course until we returned that fall. Little did we know the majesty that would reveal itself.
Noble Hawk #3 & #4 coming Wednesday….

14 thoughts on “Your Official tKO Strategy Guide…

  1. Jeremy says:

    Forgot to detail the bunkers on the left of the fairway of #1. Ask Mark S. about those as he has a great memory of the wooden posts in them.

    • PKL says:

      Warren- Asking for my swing coach: “Could you please elaborate on if the aforementioned bunkers on #1 are below the errant pubic hairs and above the scrotum in this illustration?” Just trying to get garbage flight ready. Thank you.

      • MR says:

        My plan all along was to disguise various penis sizes/shapes into these hole illustrations. I didn’t think I’d be outted this quickly! Good sleuthing, Pete!

  2. Mark S says:

    Shout out! Also not sure the water on #2 is to scale. As someone who put two in that pond in one round, I’m pretty sure that hole looks like this.

  3. WJ says:

    Pretty sure 2 people went to the wrong side of the double green this last year, but can’t remember if it was from 2 onto 16 or other way around. I know I was playing one of the holes both times it happened though.

    • PKL says:

      I’m offended. I placed my approach there on purpose and opted for the 800 ft putt to take the break out of play. If I recall correctly, I rewarded handsomely with a round-saving 4 putt much to the pleasure of the thousands of adoring fans that were in the gallery that day.

  4. Rich says:

    I’ve been in the water, bunker and railroad ties on Hole 2. Just play safe to the right and try a 50 foot uphill if you need to

  5. Rich says:

    I wonder what Mike’s picture of the Hole 16 green is going to look like

  6. mathewhart says:

    I remember the dueling 2 and 16 shit last year. And it might have been two years ago that someone in my group drained an 85 footer on #2(from #16).

  7. mathewhart says:

    Btw, can someone please check the WordPress box for this site that says, “mobile friendly”?

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