Before I jump into the hole breakdowns, we’ll do the teams draft on Friday, April 7th, live streamed (of course). We haven’t picked a location yet, but we’ll either shoot for something near Union Station or close to that stop off Armitage for you suburbanites. Expect a more detailed post in a couple weeks, just wanted to get something on your calendars for now.
I mentioned it briefly on Friday’s post, but I’m sure you guys were so focused on sizing up Eddie that you might have missed the other big news. Starting today and over the next 54 (business) days, Mike and I will be breaking down every hole of the tournament. I must reiterate that this is being done strictly from memory, which is extremely impressive when you see the detail of Mike’s MS Paint hole renditions. Our goal is for this to become a living, breathing document, where you can add your own thoughts, memories, and course management suggestions in the comment section. This means you assholes would have to actually go to the site, instead of just reading the emails. GIVE ME MY CLICKS.
Now on to your strategy guide.
Round 1 – Noble Hawk – Par 71 – tKO Field Average: 97.6
Noble Hawk #1 – Par 4 – 391 yards – Handicap #11
The first step in your journey towards immortality. The tournament starts out with a friendly little dogleg right. The big hitters (shout out to Ian) can drive the cart path leaving an easy chip (which he will chunk) as the approach shot. The shorter hitters will need a short to mid iron on their second shot, assuming their drive did not end up in someone’s yard a million yards right of the fairway.
Those beautifully drawn moguls (editor’s note: any comment praising the artistic brilliance of the hole drawings is likely Robinson’s) on either side of the fairway may seem benign in print but with lush grass covering them, they’re ripe to swallow an errant opening tee shot or two, drowning your championship efforts before they’ve even begun.
Noble Hawk #2 – Par 3 – 165 yards – Handicap #17
tKO Average: 4.15 (+1.15, 15th hardest for tko participants)
Even when playing into the wind, the water really shouldn’t come into play here for your average golfer, which is to say 95% of the field is absolutely terrified standing over this tee shot. As I’m sure you can see from Robinson’s incredibly detailed illustration here, this is actually a double green, shared with #16. I’ve never actually seen someone pull their tee shot so badly that they are putting from the “other” green, but that’s not to say it hasn’t happened. If you’ve been witness to this at tKO, please provide a detailed breakdown in the comments.