The Hardware Part 2…

tKOX Bixler Champion

I’m sure you guys were waiting with bated breath to read a 10,000 word post recapping my championship run stroke for stroke but all you need to know is that I went into the weekend with a game plan and executed it to absolute perfection. Oh what’s that, you want a sneak peak into the mind of champion and want to know what it was? DOMINATE. Pretty simple really. Coming into the final round with a 2 stroke lead over my archnemesis, Robinson, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to back into the title. A front nine 41 pretty much buried all the competition. Maybe I shouldn’t have let off the gas on the back nine and gone after Marty’s (very sketchy) all time winning margin record of 12 strokes from tKOVI, but being able to treat the final nine holes like a ticker tape parade down the Canyon of Heroes made it all worth it.

And don’t think for a moment that I’ll become complacent after joining the ranks for legends such as Marty, Jeremy, Chris, and Austin. Champions never rest. I have every intention of taking back the Murphy Invitation this summer and becoming the first man to go back to back Bixler and win the mythical double Bixler and RDGC at tKOXI. You’ve been warned. Stay woke.

tKOX RDGC Champion

In the four years Nate has attended tKO, he’s finished 1st, 1st, 1st, and 2nd in the RDGC Cup. Not to mention 3 straight top tens in the final Bixler.  And while Robinson’s run of four straight RDGC’s and five in six years is basically the Celtics of the 60’s, it might be time we start looking at Nate as the Jordan-led Bulls, the gold standard. While three of Robinson’s titles came against fields of 8 or less players, Nathan has forged his legend in the white hot cauldron of at least a 24 man field. Three straight titles against an ever improving field? Hard to argue against that. Sure Robinson, Andre, and Rich made things interesting, but the moment we saw Nathan leading that warm up on the driving range on Glendarin Hills, was it ever in doubt? The man is a machine.

And I’m pretty sure that this is only the beginning of his dynasty. The man plays once a year (at Kendallville), using clubs from a different decade, balls that he pulled out of the lake while fishing, and plays in sneakers and t-shirts. He hasn’t even scratched his full potential. The moment he shows any interest in playing like someone from this millennium, we could be looking margins of victory reaching the double digits. The future is dark for the rest of us.

tKOX DFL Champion ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Look at all those fucking tacos! Is that one for every stroke you lost the DFL by? Kind of like a penalty taco? Brilliant.

Oh Keith, you certainly picked the wrong year to get your name back on the DFL. I’m glad you’re moving out to the burbs, not because this means you’ll actually start practicing, but more importantly, because you’ll need the extra space to house that ridiculous suitcase Shane got for the trophy. When is the house warming party? I need to make sure the DFL is prominently displayed as per custom.

Just as I said to Shane last year (who improved by 27 strokes at tKOX), I hope this serves as a motivator for you, Keith. It pains me to see anyone win(?) the DFL, especially someone so vital to the lifeline of the tKO. Next year, when Greg drunkenly carves your name into the DFL’s base, which is a horribly dangerous move by the way, I want you stand there and watch. You need to go to the place in your soul, and accept the darkness. Embrace it. Use it to light a fire underneath you. And allow the eruptive gas brought onto you by 39 tacos to propel to the top of the leaderboard next year. To infinity … and BEYOND!!

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3 thoughts on “The Hardware Part 2…

  1. WJ says:

    I will be back on my game again someday. I think you forget that I won with the largest margin of victory ever and still have the lowest combined score for the RDGC. That will happen again someday. In the meantime though, going to up my handicap in preparation for the RDGC/Bixler double you speak of.

  2. The Chairman says:

    White James, you shot through the Kendallville Open universe like a comet. I’d never seen something shine so magnificently… only for it fade into far reaches of space, never to be heard from again.

    Sincerely,
    tKOX 1st Flight Winner

  3. Keith says:

    I just show up for the drinks and tacos.

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