You guys, THAT DRAFT WAS FUCKING INTENSE. The teams are posted below. Remember your captain has total control over who you play with on Friday afternoon and your scramble foursome. We’ll release the round one groups in about a week, so you guys have the meantime to lobby your captains and hopefully get paired up with someone you don’t hate. Looking at you Mike C. and Danny!
Here are the teams, listed in alphabetical order. I repeat, alphabetical order. This is not the order you guys were actually drafted in, so don’t go catching feelings like a punk boy. All comments were made by the respective captains, unless otherwise noted.
Austin – I just miss his ab roller, complete disregard of women and because they call him Mr. Chicken. Mr. Chicken himself.
Ben – #RangerBen #RangerBen #RangerBen #RangerBen
Danny – He won’t have is normal comrades for the scramble but supposedly he can pull things out of his ass and perform at a higher level. Now if he could only harness that for the other 54 holes.
Ian – I feel like he had an off year last year, probably because had to play with me 3 times, and is ready for a bounce back. That and the kid can drink. Yes I am basing all my picks on how much they enjoy drinking.
Kevin – He has definitely had his struggles in some rounds of tKO but has put together some great rounds – Noble Hawk ’13 ring a bell – no, oh well. I feel like he is going to capitalize on the masterful hail shortened round and propel himself into contention this year. Oh and he can drink with the best of them.
Mark S. – I don’t care for the activities I have seen this guy partaking in recently instead of preparing for THE tournament. Who goes on vacation anytime 12 months before tKO. I just hope his head is in the right place.
Mat – I thought he had more scores this year but turns out it is just one. Anyway, I am hoping the mentorship this individual has received over the past year pays huge dividends at the Ocho. In addition, to now having to represent DC on his own and make Shane proud – I am expecting big things from him.
Mike C. – You never know what type of game this individual is going to bring except one. His Saturday evening drinking game is always on point and is pretty much the only reason I am drafting him this early.
Nathan – My next pick is a pure power move. We know this cat can play, and that is pretty much all we know about him. Oh that and he wears t-shirts when he plays and I kind of dig that. I am picking him because I want to have the guy on my team that will finally, I mean maybe, I mean hopefully, dethrones Mike.
Rich – With the first pick I pick the best naturally gifted net score golfer in the tournament (minus Marty’s ridiculous substance influenced -19 from ’12 that should be investigated). Myself. Oh I don’t need to draft myself. Oh well. Then I honorarily draft Shane first so he doesn’t go into a bigger drinking bender. That is probably too late anyway. So officially, I draft someone that consistently has great net scores, has dominated at Cobblestone both in net and gross and brings a treasure chest of cigars which will fuel the scramble team.
Wally – I am going with someone that has thrown up some ridiculous net scores this year. The only one person that has the weather and free time to have played more than one round this year. The other half of last year’s team Hawaii – the better Yoshimoto.
Brendan – [Commissioner’s Note: I was not the overall number one pick this year, as devastating as it was to find the out, you know who else wasn’t #1 over? Michael Jordan…and Darko.] I take the person who is most upset that he wasn’t drafted #1 for a second year in a row. Mr Brendan Yoshimoto, come on down. The REAL dream team – Brendan & Mike 10 & 8 winners in round 1 – back together again.
Bryce – Mike: Team Spartan is about to get more Green. Bruce Kirchenbloom is my pick here. Jeremy: Ah good old Sergio Kirchhausen. Good luck with those 6 hour rounds.
Chris A. – I’m going for rebound presence with this next pick. The only guy taller than Jeremy in the field. A tKO rookie, our team will be sure he’s mentally prepared for what he’s about to experience. And I’m sure he’ll be doing a bunch of drinking practice between now and then, something we’ll for sure need.
Greg – The next pick has proven himself to be both extremely dedicated to the cause and thoroughly focused on drinking during the weekend, both pluses in my book. Thankfully his game has also started to improve as well with a strong solo 5th last year in the Bixler standings. However, if we get stranded with no bus on Saturday, he gets kicked off the team.
(White) James – I’ve got an affinity for the name James, it being my middle name and all. And I’m about to gobble up the monopoly of James’ at The Ocho. White James, welcome to team Spartans, as it’s turning out to be.
(Kevin) James – Having only heard rumors of his power off the tee but already feeling a bond with my fellow Spartan, I make Kevin James my pick here. He’ll either excel alongside his fellow alma maters or he’ll crumble under the pressure of The Ocho. I’m betting on the Spartan Dawgs though…here comes the BOOM.
(Asian) James – In what will go down as a historic feat for the Asian community, picks #2, #3, & #4 are all of the Asian persuasion. Math teachers around the world have never been so proud – Asian James, welcome home.
Keith – I. FEEL. PRETTY.
(Mustang) Mark C. – Two words. Unicorn Shotgun.
Marty – No one uses the city of Kendallville as a greater inspiration than Brad Miller himself. Marty, I miss you, can’t wait to see you on my team.
Pete – Mike: Pete Levine fits this team perfectly. Jeremy: That one stings. But I guess you see the greatest of buckeyes and need some of that.
Whelp, there you have it. Get to….