The Contingency Plan

Gentlemen and WAGS,

Due to the high volume of comments questioning my integrity as tKO commissioner surrounding the controversial proposed date change, I feel a post is necessary to clarify my thought process behind the proposal and more importantly to defend my name and honor.

As with the wait list and application process instituted last year, I try to institute a contingency plan whenever possible to avoid any personal bias when making decisions for the good of the tournament. The case of a proposed back up weekend is no different. Please allow me to expound.

  • The Kendallville Open will be scheduled for the weekend before Memorial Day weekend, barring unforeseen circumstances.
  • Unforeseen circumstances are defined as the following: WAGs’ pregnancy.
  • There are no other acceptable unforeseen circumstances.
  • The alternative weekend is the weekend after Memorial Day.
  • If the tKO WAG has deemed that the Kendallville Open’s standing date of the weekend prior to Memorial Day is too close for comfort, the tKO-er can ask for the contingency plan be put up to a vote.
  • Requests for the Contingency Plan vote must be made by December 1st and all requestors will be kept confidential.
  • Only invited tKO participants are allowed to request to put the contingency plan up to a vote, wait listed members will not have that option.
  • If a single past tKO participant votes against the alternate weekend, the vote immediately does not pass and the Kendallville Open will take place on normally scheduled weekend before Memorial Day.
  • A past participant can vote against the alternate weekend for any reason they choose and without any explanation of their decision. All votes will be kept confidential.
  • If a child happens to be born on the weekend before Memorial Day, the tKO-er cannot request for the weekend to be changed permanently. He will have to choose between the Kendallville Open and his child for the rest of their lives.

Hopefully that clarifies the contingency plan for everyone, especially those of you claiming that this would open a door that can’t be closed, as if I haven’t thought this through. And again, everyone has the right to vote against the alternate weekend for any reason at all, nullifying this entire process.

And while we’re on the subject of changes to tKO, please feel free to voice any questions, comments, and concerns regarding all modifications, including expansion and the wait list, we’ve made along the way. I’ll be happy to listen to your feelings with an open mind.

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As with everything I do for the Kendallville Open, my goal is always to include as many of the past participants as possible and to foster an environment that encourages as much shitty golf, binge drinking, and good times as one can stand in the middle of nowhere Indiana.

Sincerely,

tKO Chairman

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UPDATE: Special Advisor to the Board Shane made the following suggestion to the Contingency Plan and, as acting chairman, I approve.

I would add that if the TKO participant request that we use the contingency weekend and still does not participate in that contingency weekend they are suspended from the TKO for 1 year from the Monday following the Weekend after Memorial Day.

He also pointed out that I don’t know the difference between Labor Day and Memorial Day.

8 thoughts on “The Contingency Plan

  1. Rich says:

    I have left my entire May open in the event that there is a contingency to the contingency.

  2. AJ says:

    Who are WAGs???

  3. AJ says:

    Nevermind…I got it. Wives and Girlfriends

  4. shorts says:

    gents – don’t make cumsies in your WAG 9 months prior to tko.

    • Anonymous says:

      On a train to NYC. Literally laughed out loud. Had to show this to the people around me. IRS Shorts’ fans base is increasing exponentially.

  5. […] the DFL. I’m happy to announce that all of you came to your senses and graciously approved The Contingency Plan to be put into effect this year, so tKOCHO will be May 30th through June 1st. Go ahead and request […]

  6. […] plan into place for tKOIX must do so by December 1st. If you need a refresher on how this works, click here. If someone does in fact request the Contingency Plan, the backup weekend is May 29th and 30th. […]

  7. […] anonymous (I’m sure you guys can figure it out), but someone actually requested to put the Contingency Plan into effect for tKOIX. This would move the Nine from May 15/16 to May 29/30. I’m sure you […]

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