The Bixler

There’s only one week left, so unless you’re Danny, you should have plenty of time to completely revamp your game in order to bring some hardware home this year. The RDGC Cup might not be in your grasp but The Bixler and The Bixler Blazer definitely are.

Look at that piece of art. Thank you Bryce. And yes, that is the actual patch that will be sewn on to The Bixler Blazer, so make sure you know your jacket size. I expect to see pictures of the winner in this jacket all over the internet. Just in time for wedding season.

Just in case you weren’t sure how this whole handicapped tournament works, here’s the basic breakdown. One Friday morning, your handicap will be locked and entered to my super computer spreadsheet. This thing is like that computer from War Games.  I don’t even understand how it works (sike, i know everything), but basically everyone is in contention for the Bixler.

Here’s how it breaks down if you are actually curious:

Jeremy’s handicap is 33.6 on You take 33.6 multiple it by the slope rating for Cobblestone (127), then divide by 113. In this case, his handicap for Friday’s round is 37.7, rounded to 38. So if Jeremy shoots another 111, then his handicap score will actually be a 73 (=111-38).

In contrast, White James handicap is 6.4. So his handicap for Friday’s round is 7.19 (=(6.4*127)/113)). Let’s say he goes nuts again and shoot another 77, his handicap score would be 70 (=77-7).

Handicaps will be recalculated for each round, since the course slope rating changes. Don’t worry, I’m 25% Asian and already have a spreadsheet loaded up on my iPad to take care of all of these calculations. Just remember that, no matter how shitty you are, you just have to be slightly less shitty than you normally are and you can run away with this beautiful trophy, handcrafted by the official tKO carpenter, Bryce, and the Bixler Blazer.

In case you were wondering, closet nerd Mike R. ran all the numbers from last year’s tournament and here’s how things would have ended up.

Did I mention this idea is awesome?


12 thoughts on “The Bixler

  1. Jeremy says:

    How awesome is it that no matter what the format is, Danny still sucks.

  2. Marty says:

    Danny doesn’t suck … he sucks consistently.

  3. Robinson says:

    Brendan’s recent barrage of 95+ scores all make sense now. He’s got one goal – the BLAZER.

  4. ben82law says:

    I’m going to sing this all Saturday morning long. Skip to about 2:11

    I’m sorry in advanced

  5. Anonymous says:

    Did I win?

  6. arab says:

    Man if I wasn’t coming who would u guys make fun of

  7. Anonymous says:

    Don’t worry Danny if you weren’t there we would still make fun of you!

  8. Keith Raimondi says:

    Man looking at the Ff web page, you are all sand bagging Mother F-ers. So happy Mothers Day to you cheating bums.

  9. Anonymous says:


  10. Curtis says:

    It’s good to know how big of an under-achiever I really am at the tKO. Thanks, Brendan, for the swift kick in the nuts. The saving grace is that Robinson sucked even harder last year.

  11. chanachart says:

    i still don’t understand any of this shit

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