Mock Scramble Draft 1.0

Commissioner’s note: Jeremy drops another bomb on your face.

We are in a sports mock draft down period. Mel Kiper Jr. and Todd McShay just spent the last 8 months predicting how the draft would play out and were completely wrong and now have the next couple months to regroup and get at it again. Seriously, how do I get that job? I can spout off for months about who I think is going to drafted and then it is horribly wrong and nothing happens to them. It is probably the best job in the world. Well second, behind sun tan lotion applier to supermodels. And the NBA draft is still a couple weeks out with the picks not set in stone yet. So to fill the need of the draftniks out there, here is my mock draft of the 2012 tKO Scramble draft.

I am basing the draft order on last year’s results factoring in the new guys and the handicaps on

No. 1 Overall Pick – Danny

No. 2 – Keith

No. 3 – Jeremy

No. 4 – Kevin R.

No. 5 – FNG Mark

So here we go.

Brendan Y.: Hello and welcome to the 2nd tKO Scramble draft, we have some great competitors and players out there today and Curt.

Team Danny is on the clock.

The first pick will take a little while to get in because Danny will probably be too drunk to realize he has the worst score thus far and will be busy booking flights for his return flight home to Vegas.

Brendan Y.: With the number one overall pick Team Danny selects……… White James out of Michigan State University.

Danny goes the safe route and looks to try and win the scramble instead of “winning the scramble” by being the drunkest team. Jet fans boo.

BYHK: With the number two overall pick Team Keith selects….. Rich B. out of I don’t know where.

Again another comfort pick, team way too many cigars brought for 20 guys to smoke in one weekend team up once again.

Commish: With the number 3 overall pick Team Jeremy selects Brooks, wait he dropped out, scratch that, he selects …… Mike C. out of Clemson University.

First stunner of the night. Jeremy states Mike C. always looks really hammered after the scramble and he wants in on that.

Commish: With the number 4 overall pick Team Kevin selects Mike R. out of Michigan State University.

2 Spartans in the top 4, pretty powerful stuff and Mike instantly becomes pissed he fell to 4.

Commish: With the number 5 overall pick Team FNG Mark selects…. Brendan Y. out of NorthCarolina State University.

New Mark sucks up to the commish by taking him this early which also makes him the earliest someone from NC State has been draft for anything, ever.

Deputy commissioner Mike R.: With the first pick in the second round and number 6 overall Team FNG Mark selects….Ben L. out of North Carolina State University.

FNG Mark makes it a run on the Wolfpack, stupidly.

DC Mike R.: With the 7th overall pick Team Kevin selects…. Austin M. out of THE Ohio State University.

Kevin probably didn’t make this pick and Robinson as his first team member made it for him.

DC Mike R.: With the 8th overall pick Team Jeremy selects…. Greg P. out of the University of Illinois.

Someone is putting together one hell of a drunk team.

DC Mike R.: With the 9th overall pick Team Keith selects…. Shane C. out of THE Ohio State University.

Keith sees where Team Jeremy is going and counters with a drunk of his own.

DC Mike R.: With the 10th overall pick Team Danny selects…. Marty M. out of THE Ohio State University.

Danny is pumped to have Marty fall into his lap, not as excited to have Precious fall into his lap but

Brendan: With the first pick in the third round and number 11 overall Team Danny selects…. Bryce out of Michigan State University.

You would think his slow play which allows more time to drink would make him an earlier pick.

Brendan Y.: With the 12th overall pick Team Keith selects Asian James out of Michigan State University.

Concerns over his focus since getting married ON A BOAT made his stock slide.

Brendan Y.: With the 13th overall pick Team Jeremy selects Mustang Mark  out of Ball State University.

The knee injury hurt his performance at the combine, but his drinking at the bar makes him a perfect fit on this team.

Yosh: With the 14th and 15th pick Team Kevin and FNG Mark select Indy Mark and Curtis C. (respectively) out of IUPUI.

No one has heard anything from them for months so we forgot that there were even at tKO. Overheard from Kevin and New Mark was “are those guys with us? I never saw a post, tweet or video from them all off season”.

So here are the teams.

Team Danny
White James

Team Keith
Asian James

Team Jeremy
Mark C.
Chicago Mark

Team Kevin
Mike R.
Indy Mark

Team FNG Mark
FNG Mark

At first glance everything looks pretty evenly matched. We won’t know for years who won the draft but am pretty certain it won’t be Danny’s team.


5 thoughts on “Mock Scramble Draft 1.0

  1. Asian James says:

    THE TWELFTH OVERALL PICK!?!?! C’MON MAN!! wait wait…spot on Jeremy. Getting married on a boat didn’t drain my focus, but drained the ol’ passbook savings. Thus not spending the time or money needed on the golf course/driving range. But it was one helluva party!

  2. Robinson says:

    Based on my DFL scramble performance last year, I’m surprised I wasn’t picked last. Are we the only scramble team in history to shoot over par??

  3. arab says:

    I actually just read this while drinking since out. I’m taking bribes for number one pick

  4. Indy Mark says:

    IUPUI!?!?! WTF? I’m a Boilermaker and Curt was a fighting Tiger from DePauw. I’m a lot more worried about that than being the 14th draft pick! And, your 14th and 15th draft picks both are still sipping drinks out of our Flight Champion glasses from last year…just FYI.

  5. Curtis says:

    I would talk more “golf trash” along with Mark, but I know Jeremy could care less about the golf aspect of the trip. But, before the next mock draft, I’d like to remind Mr. Kiper that while most of the field was sipping their new-found, watered-down, malted iced tea, I consumed a fifth of bourbon in less than 36 hours. No, I’m not proud. In fact, my liver still hurts. But how this gets over-looked is beyond me, and it simply makes me all the more motivated to bludgeon even more badgers, and to drive Austin and me headfirst into another sandtrap.

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