White James’s Revenge

Commissioner’s note: The guest posts series continues today with a few words from our friend White James. Always a great sport, I hope that all of you are excited as WJ is. With less than 3 weeks until D Day, now’s the time to get your shit talk game up to par. We have some huge news coming in the next couple posts, something will take the V to another level, a level none of us thought was possible. But until then, White James, take it away.

To Whom It May Concern:

It has come to my attention that based on events at tKOIV, some people have taken the opportunity to have some fun at my expense. For instance, Mr. Red Tee’s himself has been relentless in reminding me of my failure to close out the tournament last year. This is an interesting approach from a guy who was not even in the last group and although some people who were 10 shots behind (Rich, for instance) made a furious come back on the course, I can see from the stats that Brendan…did not. I am sure though that all of his comments about me are truly just in frustration to losing the Best Dressed award to Greg. Anyway, I am not here to single people out for their actions. If I did that, I would have to bring up Austin’s mole killing and attempted assassination of Curt. I would have to bring up Mundelein Mark’s subterranean. I would have to bring up Jeremy’s confusion that he actually has to play golf in this event without using power boosts and spin control. I would have to bring up the complete self-destruction of the entire Asian group on Saturday afternoon. I would even have to bring up Keith’s subpar caddying skills, but I am a bigger man than that.

I am simply going to express my enthusiasm for this year’s event. It will be great to have the opportunity to meet all of the newcomers to the event. For instance, my college roommate Bryce, whose phone always went to voicemail when I would call, it will be great to see him in person and bypass those technical glitches. I know Ian will be excited about this trip as his next year is going to be void of this sort of masculine bonding time. I am even excited (and a little scared) to see Mike C.’s famous temper tantrums. You know Mike, I hear kids pick up on that stuff. I think Mike R. is going to be excited too. I think this event had become a little routine for him. You know, come to Indiana, win on the 18th hole, go home, yada yada yada. To make it more of a challenge this year, he has spent the entire offseason playing par 3 courses. He actually hasn’t used his driver since tKOIV, so this should be interesting.

I am going to end my guest post by saying I am super excited for tKOV and look forward to the opportunity to meet new people, reconnect with old friends, and kick all of your asses on the golf course!

Sincerely,

White James

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5 thoughts on “White James’s Revenge

  1. White James says:

    Where did you get my wedding picture?

  2. White James says:

    Well, since that picture was taken at a golf course, she probably assumed I was thinking about golf anyway.

  3. Jeremy says:

    Nicely done WJ, as part of the saturday afternoon Asian group – if that is complete self-destruction, count me in for another go around this year. Well worth it.

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