Team Champs & Flight Winners

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9 Pints* & A Blazer dethroned RWTW to win this year’s Kendallville Open Team Championship and they will remain together next year to defend their title. There wasn’t much of a competition, as 9P*AAB steam rolled their flights on Saturday morning. Given the miserable scoring conditions during the scramble, no one was able to make a charge at them. With Asian James & Greg both winning their flights (2nd and 4th respectively), this brings the juggernaut’s new total up to 11 pints*, but still only one blazer, despite a valiant effort from Tall James. Immediately after the draft, Team 9 Pints* was the early favorite and they certainly talked the talk and walked the walk. Even though not a single team picture of them exists, they donned new swag for every single round, sponsored by FreshFin. Living up to the mantra “look good, feel good. Feel good, play good.” With RWTW breaking up for tKOXII, it will be interesting to see if anyone can compete with 9 Pints*, they have a Golden State Warriors kind of feel to them.

Even though they finished a bit further down the leaderboard, the Kendallville Open Team Spirit award easily goes to Wally & The Whales. While they weren’t best dressed (that obviously goes to the Marlboro Men ), you only needed to take a look around the course to see their impact on the tournament.  Legends.

On to the flight winners…

Championship Flight Champ – Robinson

Robinson

After going 9 years without a flight championship, Robinson has now gone back to back in the championship flight (and back to back backdoor 2nd place RDGC finishes). However, neither flight wins were enroute to an RDGC title, which will be 5 years ago (?!??!) at tKOXII.

1st Flight Champ – Nathan

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We’re all assuming that is a styrofoam cup that was once full of brown liquor here, right? Not hard to tell what’s going with Nate in this picture. Sure a flight win is nice, but when you are used to hoisting the RDGC Cup over your head, it’s probably not quite as fulfilling, not to mention when your 3rd flight pint is from the first time you didn’t play in the championship flight. I think we’ll see a renewed Nate at tKOXII.

2nd Flight Champ – Asian James

AJ

In an all-time tKO stunt, Asian James had a custom Flight Pint case built before tKOXI in expectation of winning his fourth flight and being the first to achieve the Dinner Party (aka the lifetime achievement award). Not only did this complete the set, it’s the third year in a row he’s won the 2nd flight. It’s only a matter of time before AJ knocks down the 2nd round wall and wins a blazer.

3rd Flight Champ – Ben

Ben

If you don’t remember, RWTW was really big on the team concept, as you can see here. While they most likely won’t be together next year, the bonds formed here won’t be going away anytime soon. Somehow, this is the first pint Ben has ever won. Big things were expected of Ben at this year’s tournament, but the weather seemed to stall any momentum he could get going until the final round.

4th Flight Champ – Greg

Greg

Another win for team 9 Pints*, as Greg took home not only the 4th flight pint, but also won the cherished Dunlop bag for highest point winner at tKOXI. Shocking what not having to sleep under a tree between rounds can do for one’s game. I can only imagine the things Greg will fill that bag with at next year’s tournament. This brings Greg’s career total up to 3 pints, joining Nate and Jeremy as next in line for the Dinner Party.

5th Flight Champ – Bryce

Bryce

This man was born to intimidate like this. Just look at him. Wear this gear all weekend, instead of just during the scramble, and he’s probably winning the second flight instead of the fifth. Bryce went directly from tKO to his kid’s christening on Sunday. If the holy water wasn’t poured onto Emory directly from this flight glass, then I’m pretty sure that blessing is null and void.

Trash Flight Champ – Pete

I think I figured out why Pete struggled so much during day one of tKOXI. This picture is from the Champion’s Dinner on Thursday night. Pete hitting that “clutch my pearls” look when Nate’s belly button made an appearance. Probably struggled to focus on golf a mere 12 hours later. I know Pete was pretty disappointed with his performance at this year’s tournament, but that’s the mark of  true champion. Tiger Woods often would say the difference between him and the rest of the field is that he could grind out wins when he didn’t have his A+ game. Not sure he was referring to winning the Trash Flight, but a win is a win is a win.

That just about wraps up all the highlights from this year’s Kendallville Open. I’ve updated both the Player Bio’s and History pages. Don’t forget to get your sponsorships on the Wait List. Just like every year, I’ll push the Board on expansion to 68 once the embargo on tKOXII talk has expired. There are already a few things in the cooker for next year (and they are huge), but as always, I’m all ears to your suggestions, so if you have any, shoot me a message.

Until then, I’ll see you guys on Fairway Files.

tKOXI Championship Round Recap…

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FYI: This picture should be currently hanging proudly in our Applebee’s. Might schedule another outing this year just to confirm.

Friday night was a relatively quiet evening by tKO standards, the miserable conditions had taken their toll on most of the field by then. Perhaps a blessing in disguise, because there was a lot on the line for a lot of people and everyone needed to be a full strength for Championship Saturday.

White James had slept on leads many times before and only had one RDGC to show for it. Adding a second star to his cardigan would forever end the talk of a one hit wonder and firmly place him among tKO’s elite. Ever since tearing his Achilles before tKOVIII and winning the DFL at tKOIX, Shane has been on a mission. I hate to take credit for this, but I wore my Bixler Blazer to Kevin’s wedding (reception only, because my wife shut me down) and I could see it was going to inspire great things from Kevin. Now was the time to turn dreams into reality.

On the other end of the spectrum, Sutton admitted slept horribly, was the fear of having to introduce his new daughter to a new tetanus infested toy too much? I was terrified to see Pete, the most influential tKO-er in years, on Saturday morning. No one has brought more to tKO than Pete, and to be paid back with the DFL? Too much for one soul to bear. Thankfully when I saw him in the breakfast bar, he confidently said “I’m winning my fucking flight”.

You could cut the tension with a knife as the vans pulled into the Best Western on Saturday morning. The Board was hopefully optimistic looking at the forecast, the chance of rain had dropped slightly, but so had the temps. It was going to be another battle out there. But winning rings isn’t for the faint of heart.

For White James, this was his victory lap. A front nine 44 was more than enough to lock up his second RDGC Cup. He’d follow that up with a back nine 48, but by then the championship was mere semantics. His seven stroke victory would have been a tKO record if not for his vengeance filled fifteen stroke win back in tKOV. While it’s only his second title, this is just proof that when White James is on his game, he’s in a class of his own. Unless he tears an Achilles, from here on out White James is your RDGC favorite. Another six year gap between championships will only be seen as apathy and disrespect for the ring, White James. You’ve raised the bar, now it’s time to go higher. I’m looking forward to your speech at Applebee’s next year.

Pete’s front nine -1 not only took the DFL red dot off his forehead, it also basically wrapped up his flight (his second), just as he called it, and most importantly gave us a glimpse of the potential I was expecting to see all tournament long. While Sutton’s poor play improved slightly, he was still in last with 9 holes to play. However, he was quickly being joined by a Lloyd and a rudderless Keith who was the midst a Danny-induced freefall. Back to back net birdies on 11 and 12 kept Sutton safe, in his words “those are tough holes and I saw a blood bath all around me”. Truer words have never been spoken. Unfortunately, it was the blood of one man. Keith set some unfortunate records at tKO. Records I can’t see being broken anytime soon. A back nine 80, en route to a 149, are both numbers that will likely stand the test of time. I think it’s safe to say reaching back 20 years to find the strength blast out those opening notes took its toll on Keith, as a final round collapse led to another DFL, but the sacrifice he made was well worth it. Heavy is the head that wears the crown, Keith. In my eyes, you’ll always be first place.

Let’s just say neither Kevin nor Shane were looking to put this thing to bed early. Thru nine holes of the best scoring conditions we’d had all weekend, both were just treading water and tied for the lead coming into the back nine. Only Caravello, who started the day twelve back of the leaders, managed to make a run up the leaderboard. With a front nine net 33, he moved within 8 strokes of the leader with nine to play. In most golf tournaments, I don’t think you’d say being within 8 strokes is in striking distance. Hell, in most basketball games, 8 points isn’t in striking distance. But this is not most golf tournaments. 

As the saying goes, the Masters truly doesn’t start until the second nine on Sunday. The very same can be said for the Bixler, with my blowout victory last year (shout out to me) being an outlier. Kevin opened the back nine with net double bogey, while Shane did the same on the always challenging twelfth. All the sudden, this was anyone’s tournament. As Shane and Kevin Juveniled their way through the back nine, a few more names crept into red numbers, notably Tall James and Robinson. But the real noise was coming from Caravello, who with 2 holes to play was now four under. Caravello was mere inches away from a net albatross that would’ve given him the lead with one to play, tap in net eagle would have to do. -6 with one hole left. Tiger-esque roars through the hallowed pines of Glendarin Hills, I’m sure the echoes could’ve been heard from the club house. In what had been a battle of dumptrucks in reverse all day long, Shane and Kevin finally had company. With three holes left to play, Shane sat at -10, with a three stroke lead over Kevin and a six stroke lead over Caravello. By the 18th tee box, that must have felt like lifetimes ago.

Winning a Bixler Blazer means you need to hit the shots when they count. Winning time, as it were. Caravello’s net eagle on his 17th hole put him in contention. Unfortunately, as the galleries swelled around his 18th hole to see if he could complete the comeback, the magic finally ran out. A net quadruple bogey on 18 would put any chance Mark had to rest.

Now I’ll never say that Shane lost the Bixler and gave it away to Kevin, but deep down inside, Shane knew he needed to step up on his last hole, the par 3 17th, especially after dropping three strokes over the last two holes. Listen, Shane’s come a long way since tKOIX. Tied for the lead two tKO’s later is essentially the same thing as Ben Hogan winning the US Open after getting hit by a bus. We’ve all been witnesses on his journey back and I truly believe there are new heights he’s yet to reach. Unfortunately, tKOXI was not his day. A net triple bogey would be the end of his run.

I know it sounds like I alluded to Kevin backing his way into a Blazer, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. A massively clutch net birdie on 17 had tied Kevin for the lead, leaving 18 to determine his place in history. The tee shot on 18 is far and away the most intimidating part of this hole. OB right (Kevin’s natural miss) and the remains of Cahill’s smashed 5 iron from earlier in the day to the left, the 18th fairway is essentially a minefield. And Kevin Hurt Locker-ed it. Pipe job, down the middle. I have no idea how smoothly he captained that boat into harbor, but he finished with a net par and the title was his. There was a brief moment of panic when he showed up in the gallery to watch Caravello finish. I’m pretty sure Kevin was insta-drunk (been there before!) and had Caravello not made a mess of his last hole, we could’ve seen a drunken playoff for all the marbles. Oh well, a boy can dream.

Kevin made me go to Cedar Point for his bachelor party, he loves roller coasters. Just take a look at how that final round played out hole by hole.

final round

He’s never been on a ride like that before.

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#tKOXI Opening Ceremonies & Day 1 Recaps…

Of the dozens of posts I write on this site every year (most, if not all, of which go completely unread by the majority of the field), this one is always far and away the toughest. tKOXI feels like a distant memory, while tKOXII feels like it couldn’t be any further away. Perhaps the two weeks that have passed have allowed for my limbs to finally numb and I can look back on this year’s event without cursing Mother Nature, that wretched bitch, and appreciate yet another Kendallville Open in the history books. I would be hard pressed to say the weather this year didn’t break my spirit. I thought the monsoon of tKOIX would be the worst conditions we would ever see, but never could I have imagined 48 hours of grey skies, driving rain, and gale force winds. I’m not going to sugarcoat thing, it was truly miserable.

And despite all of this, we managed to pull off what I like to think was our most ambitious Kendallville Open yet. Thanks to the incredible diligent work of Pete, our presence in the community skyrocketed. I’m anxiously awaiting the second quarter financial reports of our corporate partners, as I’m sure Dick’s, Dunlop and RX Bar are setting records. Most importantly, we were able to make a $500 donation to the East Noble boys’ golf team, which will be used to buy hitting nets, balls, and carts for their upcoming tournaments. I believe it was Nate who put it so eloquently, helping white kids play golf is the most worthy of causes and one that I’m excited to continue to stand behind in the future.

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The opening ceremonies set an incredible high bar with a welcome party hosted by the Best Western (shout out to Hyper Elite golfers), followed by the birth of our newest tradition, the Champion’s Dinner at Applebee’s, hosted this year by Nate’s belly button.

Nate

The tournament officially kicked off with what is quickly becoming my favorite part of tKO, Councilman Dazey’s opening remarks. What happened next was pure magic. A hair raising rendition of the National Anthem, performed by our very own Miles Davis, aka Keith-tosis.

Jesus, I was ready to run through a fucking brick wall after that. You wouldn’t have guessed that after chunking my first tee shot like 5 feet, but whatever. I was jacked up. Keith, you are a Kendallville Legend.

ROUND 1

To say the first round of tKOXI was an electric factory would be the understatement of the year. A front nine 28 out of Danny sent shockwaves through the leaderboard, but things quickly fell apart on the back after carding a sextuple bogey on #11 and octuple (?) bogey on #16. But for a brief moment, Danny stood at the top of the Bixler leaderboard with the entire golf world looking up at him in awe. Despite the rain clouds rolling in with a few holes to play, the Bixler leaderboard was absolutely stacked with red numbers. In what had to be a Bixler record, 12 players were under par after round one. Kevin led with a course record tying 61, right on his heels was Shane with a 62. Behind them were White James and Robinson, both with 64s and realistic hopes for the Double (Bixler & RDGC) still alive.

Meanwhile on the RDGC leaderboard, White James was putting on an absolute clinic, shattering the RDGC course record by 5 strokes with a one over par 72 that included five birdies. Both Dre and Robinson shot 78s, rounds that any other year would’ve had them at worst within one stroke of the leader. While it wasn’t a done deal after round one, it would take a herculean effort for anyone to make a run at WJ, especially if he continued to stroke it the way he was at Noble Hawk. It’s long been said that you can’t win the Kendallville Open in the first round, but with a six stroke lead over his nearest competitor and his choking days far behind him, it started to feel like White James was going for the first round knockout.

Pete, Sutton, and Lloyd all stumbled out of the gates after round one. While I would never wish the DFL on anyone, seeing some fresh blood at the bottom of the leaderboard certainly piqued my interest. Not to mention that the bottom two players would have to fly the DFL trophy back home, tacking on another $100 in baggage fees to go along with the eternal shame that comes with winning the trophy. A little peak into the Marlboro Men’s playbook, Robinson and I had taken it upon ourselves to coach Keith through rounds one and two, in an effort to keep his hands off the DFL. Step one of the mission was accomplished.

Implemented at tKOX, the four man team tournament has quickly become the most sought after championship of the weekend.  And the Random Name Generators came out firing. Rocking the latest fashion trends that won’t reach Kendallville for another 5 years, RNG and their five panel hats rode Kevin, White James, and Danny’s hot starts to an early lead, with Three F Mafia in fast pursuit. The sexy preseason pick 9* Pints & a Blazer was in third with five points. Defending champs Roll With The Winners put themselves behind the eight ball early, winning only two points in the first round. Fan favorite Wally and the Whales brought up the rear with one point, trailing the leaders by 5.5.

ROUND 2

What we hoped was just a passing front forced an abbreviated lunch break at Cobblestone and after half the field purchased rain gear (like pussies) from the pro shop, the second round of tKOXI was off and running. While the heavy rain would hold off for a little bit, the temps were already plummeting. Round two would be a war of attrition and Cobblestone the battlefield. The overflow of under par rounds from the morning were long gone, so posting something around par was an accomplishment. Of the twelve players in the red after round one, only four of those managed to break par again in round two. Hart and Tall James managed to scratch out rounds of -1 and -2 respectively. New Guy Eddie’s -4 in the elements would be his “Hello, World” moment. Big things are already expected of you next year, Eddie. Austin would also scratch together a 68 to get to -2 after two round, but at this point, it was too late, his chances at a second Bixler were all but gone. It was Shane and Kevin whose hot play continued and, despite awful conditions, bought Cobblestone to her knees. Playing through torrential rain, gusting winds, and record low temperatures, Shane fired a net 66 (-15 thru two rounds) and Kevin a net 68 (-14). The stage was set for the Championship round.

White James certainly left the door open after shooting eleven strokes worse on his second round, but no one was going to make up any ground in these conditions. He even stretched his lead to seven strokes when it was all said and done. This was Falcons over the Pats 28-3 in the third quarter, but like a true B1G guy, he knew it was time to go Tressel-Ball. There would not be a Super Bowl comeback in this game.

The big numbers really started to pile up after round two with ten players shooting a net 80 or worse. Jeremy’s net 86 put him within six strokes of the “lead”, bringing the “Devil’s Double” (aka DFL Trophy & either Bixler/RDGC). Lloyd managed to battle back a little, his 77 would give him a little breathing room. Keith’s 80 wasn’t nearly as bad as it sounds considering how everyone else was scoring, he ended the day 11 strokes off the pace. This left Pete and Sutton knotted up in DFL. Saturday morning was shaping up to be an ESPN Instant Classic.

Round two RWTW finally made the move we’ve all be expecting, winning seven of a possible eight points at Cobblestone. RWTW catapulted all the way up to a tie for second, where three teams trailed RNG by one point. Only Wally and the Whales were already out of it by the end of day one, however they would definitely make their presence felt at Glendarin.

Round 3 & Scramble Recap coming soon…

Final Round Flights

Championship Flight

  • White James
  • Andre
  • Robinson
  • Tall James

1st Flight

  • Nathan
  • Kevin
  • Rich
  • Eddie

2nd Flight

  • Cahill
  • Shane
  • Asian James
  • Austin

3rd Flight

  • Brendan
  • Wally
  • Ian
  • Ben

4th Flight

  • Greg
  • Marty
  • Mat
  • Lloyd

5th Flight

  • Caravello
  • Aschman
  • Bryce
  • Sutton

Trash Flight

  • Pete
  • Jeremy
  • Danny
  • Keith

For the fans following along at home…

Round 1 Leaderboard:

https://online.golfgamebook.com/leaderboard/2us-fyrf

Join/view codes: 25677885 / 94619785

Round 2 Leaderboard:

https://online.golfgamebook.com/leaderboard/2us-fecv

Join/view codes: 41259958 / 85050887

Round 3 Leaderboard:

https://online.golfgamebook.com/leaderboard/2us-fedl

Join/view codes: 27637017 / 14215588

Scramble Leaderboard:

https://online.golfgamebook.com/leaderboard/2us-felj

Join/view codes: 52956203 / 99615776

GAME TIME

Alright boys, let’s fucking do this.

If possible, please meet up at Noble Hawk around 6 – 6:30 on Thursday evening for a quick picture with the East Noble Knights golf team. Then we’ll head over to Applebee’s for the Champion’s Dinner.

Friday’s round at Noble Hawk tees off at 8AM, but please try to be there no later than 7:30AM. We are doing a shotgun start, so everyone is teeing off at 8 sharp. The manager there likes to give us the rundown before we all head out, plus the welcoming committee is working on a little something. You need to be done with the range and all that bullshit by 7:40AM prompt. After the Noble Hawk manager yells at us for a few minutes, we’re heading over to the #1 tee for a special presentation. Then dispersing from there to your respective shotgun starting holes

Friday afternoon’s round at Cobblestone shotguns at 2:30pm. Lunch will be waiting for you there, so I would recommend heading over to Cobblestone once you wrap up that morning round. We should have plenty of time to relax and get our shit together.

The vans to Glendarin Hills leave at 6:30 AM on Saturday. DO NOT MISS THAT SHIT. The van waits for no man.

The login info for the Instagram Account is:

username: thekendallvilleopen

password: tkonine

If you don’t log in using that account, at least use the #tKOXI hashtag on all your posts so we can easily find it on the most depressing day of the year aka the Monday after tKO.

All the loose ends should be tied up, all that’s left to do is play shitty golf, drink shitty beer, and eat at Applebee’s. I’ll see you in the promised land.

Let’s light this firecracker.

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I know, huge buzzkill post…

If the last post all about scorecards and match play rules didn’t scare off new guy Eddie, then this one should be the nail in his coffin. It’s the annual “Don’t be an asshole, also hurry the fuck up please” post. One day I’ll have enough confidence in all of you that this post won’t be necessary. Today is not that day. By now, you all should know the deal, but just because you should know the deal by no means will I make the assumption that you actually do know the deal. So far the eleventh year in a row, here we go.

  • READY FUCKING GOLF FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY – Two days, three courses, twenty eight golfers, seventy two holes, four hundred beers. We have a shit load going on here, people. We are shotgun starting on Friday at 8AM and 2:30PM, so even if the first round takes five hours (if it does, stab me in the neck), you should have at least 90 minutes to get over to the other course, eat, and warm back up. Or take a nap under a tree, Greg style. Those 90 minutes will go by quicker than you think, so time is of the essence, folks. MOVE IT.
  • Don’t worry about honors or who’s away. When you are ready, say “I’m going, watch the fuck out” and then go. One slow group will cause a traffic jam on the course. And as an Asian, I’m already blamed too often for driving problems, I will not have this lumped on top of it.
  • Speaking of driving, please use the carts efficiently. You do not need a fucking police escort to and from every shot you hit. Drop your cart partner off at their ball then tell them to meet you at yours. The worst culprits of slow play are motherfuckers who do not understand best practices when it comes to cart management. It is not that difficult, people.
  • Do you have a Nomar Garciaparra-esque pre shot routine? Cut that shit the fuck out. It will do nothing to improve your game. It’s just taking up time. Four practice swings, then a visualization exercise? Man, GTFOH with that shit. If you are going to be the hardo who thinks he need all this, at least do it while someone else is swinging, so by the time it’s your turn, your 24 step warm up is wrapping up.
  • Did you actually bust open a drive on a par 5 and have, what you believe to be, a realistic shot at reaching the green in two? Fine, wait for the green to clear before you top it 30 yards. But your ass better sprint down the fairway after your ball. And leave four frosty cold ones on the green as an apology to the group behind you.
  • Don’t spend all fucking day looking for your shitty drive, if you can’t find it immediately you probably don’t want to find it. Take the drop.
  • HURRY. ALL. THE. WAY. THE. FUCK. UP.

Alright, hopefully I got my point across there. On to actual golf rules:

  • Not only are you responsible for your own score, but you are also responsible for your opponent’s score. That’s why each cart only has one of the matches’ scorecard. Copy and pasted from last year and the year before that and the year…: I know that no one we’d invite would be a big enough dick to actually shave strokes, but I’m certain we’ve invited some people who can’t fucking count. So you think so and so got an 8 on a hole, but he says he got a 7. Bring it up. If you need to bring it up every hole, do so. Hopefully he will learn how to count his own strokes. If it continues to be a problem, you can say something to me, but all I can do is say “everyone in your group thinks you are either retarded or a cheating asshole, get your shit together.” This weekend is all about a good time, so pretty please with a cherry on top respect the game, the tournament, and your fellow competitors.
  • Play all out of bounds stakes at hazards. Don’t re-tee. Just drop that shit on the line that it went OB. Ain’t nobody got time for all dat. Just remember you’ll be hitting your third shot.
  • No breakfast balls, no mulligans, not even on the first hole. If you got fucked and have to start your rounds on #15 at Noble Hawk or #4 at Cobblestone, tough cookies. At least you’ll get them over with quickly. Sorry Austin.
  • As always, we’re playing gimmies inside the leather. That means if you put your putter head in the hole and your ENTIRE ball is inside of where your grip starts, the putt is good. You still have to count that stroke, but we can just assume that we’d make it if we tried, which is an incorrect assumption, but whatever.
  • For rounds one through three, play every hole and count every stroke. Even if you got boat raced 5&4 in your match or you are about to take your 19th stroke, finish the hole and card a real number. I will not hesitate to DQ you and send your ass home with the DFL. You don’t know want that thing, it’s absurd.
  • Play it as it lies, Happy did it! Don’t fluff your shit up so you have a nice lie. If you know the rules of the game well enough to take advantage of a free drop, then by all means do it. But don’t go out there acting like an asshole, play it straight up.

I know, sounds like a riot, right? But the Kendallville Open’s success is completely due to everyone buying in, so do me a favor and play along.

 

tKOXI Scoring (God help me)…

Boys, this year we’re doing 9-hole matches, which, since we shotgun and start on various holes, requires us to use CUSTOM scorecards.

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While I trust that all (most) of you are not idiots and have some idea of how this is going to work, I’m going to run through an example real quick just to be safe.

Keith is an 11 stroke underdog in his first match against Shane. So he’s getting one stroke on every hole, plus an additional one on the hardest two holes of the side (in this case #4 & #5). You’ll notice that they start their round on #17, so they’ll match will finish on #7, at which point they’ll each start their second match of the morning (which will have it’s own scorecard). For rounds 1 & 2, each cart will have the scorecard for only one match per side in the foursome.  (We’re saving trees over here at HQ.)  So it’ll be up to you to make sure your match’s scorecard is accurate if it’s in the other cart.

I recommend writing down your actual scores on the cards, not your net score, so things don’t get confusing when you go back to double check the scores at the end of the round against Golf Gamebook.

All the while, one person from each foursome will need to volunteer to keep the foursome’s score on Golf Gamebook for every round. (another verbal assault on Marty has been redacted)

Yes, we are playing match play, but DO NOT PICK UP YOUR BALL AFTER YOU’VE LOST THE HOLE OR THE MATCH. You need a legit score for every hole or else you are DQ’d, and on my personal shit list, which doesn’t really mean anything. You should all know how match play works, who ever had the lowest score minus any strokes given wins the hole. Whoever wins the most holes through nine holes wins the match, thusly winning their team a point. If you are tied after nine holes, both teams get half a point. On your tenth hole, you start your new match against the other guy in the other cart.

AT THE END OF EACH ROUND, TURN IN YOUR SCORECARD TO ROBINSON. He’s been tasked with tallying all the team points during the tournament, and potentially all other commissioner duties if I go back to back and pass out mid-scramble again.

Rinse and repeat for round 2.

As always, round 3, you will be flighted by your position on the RDGC leaderboard, ties go to whoever had the better second round score. Flight champions are based solely on their score in round 3, as will team point distributions. 3-2-1-0 scoring (first to last).  If tied for first, add 3 (first pts) + 2 (second pts) and divide by 2 (ties for 1st get 2.5 pts, ties for 2nd get 1.5 pts, ties for 3rd get .5 pts).

Finally, team points will be awarded for every stroke under par and penalized for every stroke over par during the scramble. Remember, you have to use everyone’s drive at least once per nine holes. Not holes #1 – #9, but the first 9 holes you play and again on the second 9 holes you play.

Add up the point totals for all four rounds and boom, there you go, you have your tKOXI Team Champions.

I know that might have been a little too inside baseball for some of you, especially guys who just show up to hammer beers and occasionally swing at a golf ball, but the whole weekend won’t work unless someone from each foursome has a grip on what’s going on. For the most part, we should be fine, but I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t at least one foursome each round that I was a little worried about. Please bookmark this page to reference when you realize you have no idea what’s going on during the round.

I’m terrified about what the comment section is going to turn into here.

Roommates

The good folks over at the Best Western, home of the greatest continental breakfast bar on earth, always request I send over the room assignments early. I don’t care who sleeps where or with who, but when you check in, just go with the following:

  • The Yoshimotos
  • White James & Robinson
  • Asian James & Ian
  • Bryce & Eddie
  • Ben & Lloyd
  • Aschman & Pete
  • Kevin & Tall James
  • Mat & Caravello
  • Sutton & The McArdles
  • Keith & Rich
  • Dre & Danny
  • Greg & Cahill
  • Jeremy & Marty
  • Shane & Austin

Don’t @ me.

More importantly, I hope you all caught wind of @theKVilleOpen‘s twitter storm of #tKOLookalikes the other day. In case you missed it, here’s a recap plus a few extras provided by an anonymous source(s).

Alright, we’re a week out. One mother fucking week. These next few days are going to be absolutely brutal.

Glendarin Hills #16 – #18

Glendarin Hills #16 – Par 4 – 381 yards – Handicap #8

tKO Average: 6.06 (+2.06, 4th hardest for tko participants)

GDH 16

#16 is my nightmare. As I was cruising to my seven stroke victory last year, I knew this was my last real challenge. The big number is very much in play. Long and little right is wet. Left is in play, but can be problematic, even a safe drive 200 yards leaves you with a treacherous approach, uphill and over the water. To take advantage of this hole, you really have to thread the needle and put your drive down the left side of the fairway. This will still leave you with an uphill tee shot to a shallow green, but it’s a little more manageable.

One of my favorite tKO memories is back from X. Asian James and Ian were deadlocked in an epic battle for our flight. Throwing haymakers back and forth all day, the flight pint glass was going to come down to the last few holes. Ian steps up to the tee, and as expected, unleashed an absolute blast down the right side of the fairway. As the ball slowly re-entered Earth’s atmosphere, we realized he had brought the water into play. Asian James is audibly rooting for Ian’s drive to land in the water. “GET LEGS, GET WET” he screams, “YYYYYYYAAASSS” as it splashes into the pond. Ian is fucked. With three holes left, he had just given AJ two strokes. Now it’s Asian James’ turn to tee off. Knowing that he can’t reach the water, AJ sees no reason to play it safe, and pulls driver. And pull it he does. Snap hook into the long grass left of the fairway, not a great place to be, but certainly not dead. As we pull up to where we think AJ’s ball is, we all get out to help look…. EXCEPT IAN. He just sits in the cart, chain smoking and refusing to help search. It was just a diabolically hateful move. I loved every second of it. Asian James lost the ball and I believe the match went tied to the 18th hole, where Ian had an eagle putt to win the flight and ended up 5 putting for double or something ridiculous like that.

 

Glendarin Hills #17 – Par 3 – 136 yards – Handicap #18

tKO Average: 4.15 (+1.15, T-16th hardest for tko participants)

GDH 17

Alright, your last chance to win $70 for Closest to the Pin and I believe the hole in one prize is a free round trip ticket anywhere in the continental US. If someone makes a hole in one here and doesn’t use that ticket to fly back to Fort Wayne, then you don’t deserve that ticket anyway. Another uphill par three with a false front. Now that I think about it, the par threes at Glendarin Hills kind of suck. Would it kill you to build an island green that we had to  jump our carts off a ramp to get to, Glen?

We’re really just setting the table for the 18th. Everything happens on the 18th.

 

Glendarin Hills #18 – Par 5 – 475 yards – Handicap #10

tKO Average: 6.21 (+1.21, T-13th hardest for tko participants)

GDH 18

Alright, it all comes down to this. Even though we’ve only played our championship round for two years now, it might be our most famous hole. Most recently, RWTW chipped in for eagle during last year’s scramble, eventually winning the team championship by one point. Nate rolled in a par putt to hold off a hard charging Robinson and win his third consecutive RDGC. Playing prevent defense, I made bogey to wrap up the most lopsided* Bixler race in tKO history. But despite all the accolades won on #18, some of my favorite memories aren’t from competition, unless you include the wrestling contest I challenged Ian to during which he promptly broke my back. The Kendallville Open is all about stumbling through the scramble. As the sun begins to set, 12 carts are littered around the 18th fairway. Bodies strewn about the greenside bunkers, looking like the Normandy scene from Saving Private Ryan. Champions are crowned at noon off the 18th green, but true greatness isn’t realized there until the evening.

* – Marty’s handicap for tKOVI was both absurd and completely illegitimate. .

And thus concludes our previews of every hole you’ll see at the Kendallville Open. I hope you’ve been taking notes. The last 3 months of content has been a labor of love for both Robinson and me.  While we would’ve happily done these reviews for just the two of us (and we have (champion level shit, don’t worry about it)), but judging by the 6 of you who consistently commented, it was nice to see some engagement. Only business posts for the next week, when we descend upon Kendallville like locusts during the Plagues of Egypt.

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