****DEVASTATING BREAKING NEWS OUT OF TKONN THIS AFTERNOON****
It appears that a living tKO legend had his first brush with mortality Monday evening and did not escape unscathed. A ruptured Achilles suffered during a co-ed recreational volleyball game has left Shane at best questionable for the OCHO.
— Shane Chareonchump (@S_Chareonchump) February 19, 2014
First of all, Shane: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING? Let this be a lesson to all of you. I’m pretty sure that everyone invited to tKOCHO is over 30 years old. That means, and listen closely here, GIVE YOUR DREAMS THE FUCK UP. None of us will ever accomplish even anything remotely athletic again, so please do no try. You will only end up like Shane.
Okay, now that that’s off my chest, we can move on to more important things, like Shane’s recovery. According to his timeline, tKOCHO falls right in the middle of his two months of physical therapy. Or should I say a normal human being’s PT. But Shane is primed for an Adrian Peterson-esque recovery and I have total faith that he’ll be ready for the first tee at Cobblestone on May 30th, 2014.
But he won’t be able to do it alone, that’s why I added the Chareonchump Tracker (over there <—-). Against Jeremy's best wishes, I decided it was slightly too racist to go with the "Yellow Mamba Watch". Hashtag all your motivational tweets for Shane with #Pray4Shane and they'll pop up in the Chareonchump Tracker, hopefully no famous Shane's get in any car accidents anytime soon.
Shane, we all expect daily updates on your rehabilitation. Especially Pete. He's definitely watching.