The field is set…

Ladies and gentlemen,

It’s with a heavy heart that I’d like to announce the official field for The Kendallville Open IX. You’ll notice some tKO legends missing, the triumphant return of a tKO hero, and a fresh face. So with no further ado, here are your challengers:

Brendan, Mike C., Marty, Shane, Ian, Austin, Asian James, Greg, Jeremy, Keith, Mundelien Mark, Rich, White James, Ben, Danny, FNG Mark, Kevin, Wally, Nathan, Mat, Chris, Pete, Kevin James, and introducing Lloyd.

Our thoughts and prayers are with those who will not be able to make it this year. The contingency plan date was always going to cause scheduling issues with Curt, but he vows to be back for the X next year. You’ve been and will be missed, Curt, we can’t wait to see you back on board that train to Crazy Town soon, of course with fifth of Makers in hand. Also missing this year will be Best Mother Fucking Dressed mainstay Bryce. Bryce’s plate has been full (of skiing and legal recreational marijuana) since moving out to Denver. As is the case with Curt, I have every expectation to see Bryce back in beautiful northeast Indiana in 2016. But perhaps the biggest development going into tKOIX is the absence to six time champion Mike R. Mike, the floor is yours…

Statement on The Kendallville Open

For Immediate Release – February 27th, 2015

Right now, I need a lot of work on my game, and to still spend time with the people that are important to me. My play, and scores, are not acceptable for tournament golf. Like I’ve said, I enter a tournament to compete at the highest level, and when I think I’m ready, I’ll be back. I am committed to getting back to the pinnacle of my game. I’d like to play The Kendallville Open—it’s a tournament in the great state of Indiana and it’s very important to me—but I won’t be there this year as my game is not tournament-ready. That’s not fair to anyone. I do, however, expect to be playing again very soon (maybe like one or two rounds in 2015). I want to thank the fans of The Kendallville Open. They are always amazing. I greatly appreciate everyone’s support.

See you at tKOX.

(JK – I got my wife pregnant)

Seriously guys, you gotta start planning these things (kids) out a little better. Mike is confident his second daughter’s birthday won’t conflict with tKO when we move back to our original pre-Memorial Day weekend, so hopefully this will only be a one year absence. However, when the tKO Hall of Fame committee look back at Mike’s resume, this won’t be overlooked.

The silver lining here is that the three openings allowed Pete, Kevin James, and tKO rookie Lloyd into the field. If you need a refresher on Lloyd, I highly recommend looking back at his original application from 2013 (Lloyd – Official TKO Application). There will likely be a more in-depth introduction at a later point, but right now is a time to mourn.

Chris and Nathan, we’ll wait until the ground thaws and the boys can get some rounds in before RDGC v Bixler Cup teams are drafted, but it’s never too soon to start brainstorming some ideas.

Until then, forever in our hearts….


Official Business

After roughly 10,000 emails/phone calls with the good folks over at the Best Western of Kendallville, Indiana, I was finally able to confirm everything. Seriously, that shit was miserable. But we’re all good now.

The Kendallville Open IX – May 29th & 30th, 2015

Friday – 8AM @ Noblehawk & 2PM @ Cobblestone

Saturday – 8:30AM & 3PM @ Glendarin Hills

For the one millionth time, this is the Friday after Memorial Day, so keep that in mind. Also, unless you want to wake up at like 3 in the morning on Friday, you’ll have to come into Kendallville on Thursday night.

Golf/Hotel/Breakfast/Lunch = $352.73. This covers 3 nights in the hotel (Thursday, Friday, and Saturday), all your golf and cart fees, breakfast (if you can call it that) at the Best Western, and lunch on Friday and Saturday. I’ve set up lunch spreads for Friday at Cobblestone and Saturday at Glendarin that are both included in that number. Both rounds on Friday are shotgun starts, so timing shouldn’t be an issue. The Best Western has changed their booking policy and now your cards will be charged 7 days before check in, so this means either you have each have to individually call in your credit card information or I can put my card down for everyone and you’ll just give me that money. I think it’ll be much easier for everyone if I just put my card down and collect money from you, but if you have a problem with that, let me know.

I’m sure some of us will head over early on Thursday for a practice round, but that will be paid for separately and I’ll have to do is let them know how many we have, so I’ll finalize that later on.

Mike R. and I are still trying to figure out some of the details of this year’s tournament, so the exact entry fee has not been decided yet. However, I have already booked the charter bus for Saturday (pick up at 10PM this year!!!!) and the hole in one insurance. But when we have everything figured out, I’ll let you all know the details there.

Since my PC is on its last legs, there won’t be a video invitation this year, so we’re going with the middle school basketball team cuts technique. If you see your name on the list below, you are officially in the tKOIX field. You have until February 28th to accept. If I don’t hear from you by then, I’ll assume you are out and proceed down the waitlist. However, because we’ve had so many issues nailing the date down this year, there will be no penalty points for missing this year’s event. Also, we are 100% going back to our original date of the weekend before Memorial Day for tKOX, the contingency plan is no more. Stop knocking these hoes up! Anyway, on to the cuts (listed in order of tKO score):

  • Brendan
  • Mike R.
  • Mike C.
  • Marty
  • Shane
  • Ian
  • Austin
  • Asian James
  • Greg
  • Jeremy
  • Keith
  • Mustang Mark
  • Rich
  • White James
  • Ben
  • Bryce
  • Danny
  • FNG Mark
  • Kevin
  • Wally
  • Defending Champ Nate
  • Mat
  • Defending Champ Chris
  • Pete

Alright boys, remember RSVP BY FEBRUARY 28TH. Congratulations on your invitation.


tKOIX – May 29 & 30, 2015

So I’m still working on finalizing some of the tee times for Saturday, but tKOIX will most likely be May 29th & 30th. This is the Friday and Saturday after Memorial Day, so get that date on your calendars. I know the contingency date was originally vetoed, but as it turns out, the courses and hotels were already booked.

I’ve failed you all. I’ve always felt the Kendallville Open was too big to fail, but its legendary tales have finally spread to the masses and we are ones left behind. This reminds me of the story of Icarus, flying too near the Sun.

With Kendallville now rivaling Bandon Dunes and Myrtle Beach as the top golf destinations in the country, we’ll have to start booking tKO earlier moving forward. I mean like a year in advance. I’m not joking. I know. I don’t understand it either. But this means there will be no more contingency plans starting next year. Knock some chick up? Sorry.

Anyway, I’m hoping to have all the details for tKOIX locked up this week and once everything is confirmed, I’ll post the details here. In the meantime, check in with the boss/significant other and open that date up. Since we’ve moved the date around a million times, the final RSVP date is pushed back to February 15th. This way you can take your wife out to a romantic candle lit Valentine’s Day dinner, split a nice bottle of wine (or three), and then subtly let her know that you have plans May 29th and 30th when she’s wine drunk.

I know I’ve let you all down so far, but I promise to make it up to you. The Kendallville Open IX will be so legendary that town will never make the mistake of overbooking on our weekend again, because there will be nothing left come the morning sun.

He actually had the nerve to request it….

So, I’ll let the culprit remain anonymous (I’m sure you guys can figure it out), but someone actually requested to put the Contingency Plan into effect for tKOIX. This would move the Nine from May 15/16 to May 29/30. I’m sure you all have the bylaws of the Contingency Plan memorized, but just in case you need a refresher, here is how the voting process works:

  • If a single invited tKO participant votes against the alternate weekend, the vote immediately does not pass and the Kendallville Open will take place on normally scheduled weekend before Memorial Day.
  • An invited participant can vote against the alternate weekend for any reason they choose and without any explanation of their decision. Only invited participants have a say in the initial vote, if and when alternates are selected, they will not have a vote. All votes will be kept confidential.
  • Voting closes at the stroke of Midnight on New Year’s Eve, perhaps will have a countdown and coinciding ball drop.

So if you vote “Nae”, just shot me and email. Again, the sooner, the better. Same with those of you who won’t be making it this year, let me know ASAP, so I can let the Wait List know what’s up. Pete was less than happy with me when I told him he was the first man out.

In other tKO news, I received only positive feedback for the proposed two day schedule for tKOIX, so it looks like we’ll be rolling with that next year. We also figured out the scoring for the team event. See below, nerds!

Round 1 (Friday Morning – Noble Hawk) – This will be the same as last year’s first round. Two players from each team will face off against two players from the other team, in a handicap weighted aggregate scored match play event. Each match will be worth 6 points, halved matches will obviously be split 3-3.

Round 2 (Friday Afternoon – Cobblestone) – This will be the same as last year’s morning round at Glendarin Hills. Two players from each team will be randomly drawn to play two players from the other. The lowest handicap weighted individual score wins 6 points, next lowest would win 3 points, followed by 1 point, and last place receiving 0 points. Points will be split accordingly for tied scores.

Round 3 (Saturday Morning – Glendarin Hills) – This is what has traditionally been the Sunday round at Noble Hawk. Foursomes will again be flighted based on their previous two scores, with no respect to RDGC vs Bixler teams. Points toward the team event will be awarded solely on the performance of the third round. The best handicap weighted score will receive 12 points, than 11.5 for the next best, and so on, with last place earning .5 points for their team. Plus an additional 2 points for each team for a Flight Champion.

Round 4 (Saturday Afternoon – Glendarin Hills) – The scramble. +5 points for every stroke under par, -5 points for every stroke over par.

Trust me, a ridiculous amount of work went into figuring this out. There were multiple spreadsheets involved so you know it’s right. However, NC State’s own Mark S. (and his applied math / statistics double major) was heavily involved, so I’ll understand if you still have some doubts. But I think we’re all good. In case you were wondering the point distribution across the rounds goes something like 13% / 21% / 29% / 37% respectively.

So you have until the end of December to let know what you think about the Contingency Vote, but come January 1st, the date will be set in stone, I want to get our dates in with the Dedicated Golf Coordinator ASAP as well as get to work with Glendarin and Cobblestone about food services, not to mention booking the bus and hole in one insurance policies.

Alright gents, hopefully everyone had a pleasant Thanksgiving, and no one was assaulted by their significant others with a 7 iron. Speaking of which, Tiger looks like his in midseason form for tKOIX!

Wrap it up, B!

Just dropping in for a quick reminder, anyone looking to put the contingency plan into place for tKOIX must do so by December 1st. If you need a refresher on how this works, click here. If someone does in fact request the Contingency Plan, the backup weekend is May 29th and 30th. Remember, you are only allowed to ask for the Contingency Plan if your significant other is pregnant and if a single person rejects the request FOR ANY REASON, tough shit, bud.

Also, we’re expecting the return of Shane and Curt to the fold this year, so that would push last year’s co-rookies of the year Pete and Kevin James to the on deck circle. So the sooner we know what the field is going to be, the sooner they’ll know if they are getting called back up for another shot at the majors. And we’ll also know if we need to dip into the Wait List this year. Speaking of which, if you got a buddy you think would be a good fit, applications are also due on 12/1.

tKOIX is currently slated for May 15th and 16th, 2014. Yes, that is only two days. Unless someone makes a very compelling argument against it, we’ll be moving to the 2 rounds a day format next year.  The Board is still ironing out all the details of how scoring will work, but all four rounds will count in the RDGC v Bixler Cup, captained by Chris and Nathan respectively. The preliminary format is as follows:

Friday morning, May 15th, 2015 – Noblehawk – The format of this round will be the same as last year’s opening round. Two RDGC team members vs two Bixler team members in a handicap weighted, combined score match play event.

Friday afternoon, May 15th, 2015 – Cobblestone - This round will be the same as last year’s second (played in the morning at Glendarin Hills), foursomes will be drawn at random, two per team per foursome, with the lowest handicap weighted round earning the most amount of points, followed by the second lowest, and so on.

Saturday morning, May 16th, 2015 – Glendarin Hills – This will be what was traditionally known as the final round. We’ll repair into our flights based on your day 1 scores and play it out for both the RDGC Cup and Bixler Blazer. The Board is still working out how scoring will play back into the team game, but it definitely will some how, so if you have any suggestions, feel free to let us know.

Saturday afternoon, May 16th, 2015 – Glendarin Hills – The Scramble.

In case you wanted a peek behind the tKO curtain, here is the thought process in making this change.

Cons first:

  • Players will be required to arrive in Kendallville on either on Thursday night or Friday morning in time for an 8 AM tee time.
  • There are some concerns with the logistics between the Friday morning and afternoon rounds. However, the courses are no more than 5 mins apart and I plan on coordinating a lunch spread at Cobblestone, similar to what we had at Glendarin last year, so hopefully this will alleviate some of those time constraints.
  • Back to back days of 36 holes will be demanding on you body, mind, soul, and liver.


  • Noble Hawk is everyone’s least favorite course, along with them being the least receptive to our shenanigans. This way, we are getting it out of the way early, and presumably we’ll have a little more run of the course considering it will be much emptier.
  • This will eliminate everyone’s miserably hungover round on Sunday morning. Everyone will still be miserably hungover, but at least you won’t have to play golf. Sleep in, eat a delicious crepe at Maria’s crepe house, and make your way home at your leisure. This should also make things easier for those who fly in for tKO.
  • All four rounds will count towards the Team Bixler vs Team RDGC competition.
  • We’ll finally be able to have a proper trophy presentation and closing ceremonies, on the patio at Glendarin Hills. We’ll also schedule the bus to leave much, much later.
  • Most importantly, he highlight of every tKO is always the Scramble, by making it the last event of the tournament everyone will be able to go full throttle without worrying about the repercussions affecting their chance at winning a flight title, RDGC Cup, or Bixler Blazer.

I know that was a lot to take in on Friday evening, but with only six months left to prep, it’s time to start getting in the right frame of mine. It won’t be another five months between posts, promises. I have some big things in the cooker for El Nueve.

PS. It was snowing in Chicago this morning.

On to the next one…


photo (2)

One last time, thanks to everyone involved in making the Kendallville Open VIII such a huge success. And congratulations to all the victors.

Ryde of Die Cup: #TeamThailand (#Blessed)

Flight winners: Nathan, Tall James, Ian, Greg, Kevin, Pete

Best Mother Fucking Dressed: Your truly, but in a close second Linen James

Money Leader: Mike C.

RDGC Cup: Nathan

Bixler Blazer: Chris

I’ve updated the Player Bios, History, and the Wait List pages to reflect the history that was made last weekend. If you have pictures/videos from this weekend, go ahead and send them my way, and I’ll put together an image gallery for the Ocho. Or you can just search Twitter and Instagram for the #tKOCHO hashtag as I’ve been doing for the last week. Not depressed at all.

As I’m sure you all know, the Board is already hard at work stepping things up for the 9, so keep an eye out for updates. We’re going back to the original weekend next year, so go ahead and clear out May 15-17, 2015 on you calendar. Ian, I’d appreciate it if you could talk to the folks over at IRS Shorts and put together some kind of educational video on the timing of conception and sooner rather than later seeing how some of the boys had issues with that last year. And no fucking volleyball for the next year, Shane.

Also, if you haven’t paid (and there are two of you left), I’d love to get that check.

In the meantime, BRACE YO’ SELF FOR THE NINE!!!


Let’s Go.

Alright, men. Here’s the last post before shipping out to Kendallville. I hope everyone’s ready.

If you are coming out on Friday, the total cost is $288.90, which includes your lunch on Saturday afternoon at Glendarin. $374.79 if you are coming out on Thursday. And if you haven’t already please either Chase Quick Pay me $75 or just bring $75 in cash to the tournament. This covers your bus ride on Saturday, plus all the awards and prizes for the tournament.

Here are the rooming assignments. Don’t like it? Too fucking bad.

Wally & Brendan

Mike R. & White James

Ian & Asian James

Kevin & Paul Blart Mall Cop

Ben & Danny

Keith & Rich

Mark C. & Mat

Nathan & Mark S.

Jeremy & Greg

Pete & Chris

Marty & Mike C.

Austin & Bryce

Here are the mobile event codes for the Status4 app in case your adoring fans want to watch the drama unfold live. Please try to sign in ON A COMPUTER, NOT YOUR PHONE to accept the invitations. Only one person in each foursome needs to enter in scores per hole, I’ll designate that responsibility to someone. Enter in the following codes on the Live Scoring tab of the phone app to follow the scores live.

Thursday (practice round): 6rax

Friday: syad

Saturday: euju

Sunday: od7b

Speaking of apps and shit, remember to use the #tKOCHO hashtag during the tournament. Service in Kendallville shit (shocker), so using #hashtag will make it a lot easier to follow what’s going on.

If you happen to be a defending champ (Bixler, RDGC, or DFL), don’t forget to bring the trophy. And just as a reminder, the DFL is given to whoever finishes in dead last of the Bixler rankings. Also, Greg, please make sure you child didn’t throw up all over the Whale head cover and bring that along too.

That just about covers it all, I hope you guys are as pumped as I am. Safe travels to everyone on their trips to Mecca and remember to #Pray4Shane.


First of all… IT’S MOTHER FUCKING THE KENDALLVILLE OPEN WEEK. If you were one of the people stupid enough to risk your job by taking Thursday and Friday off, then that shit is basically 48 hours away. If you aren’t coming until Friday, good luck with that. Time to get fucking pumped, you guys.

Handicaps for the tournament will be locked in on Thursday night and all your scorecards will be adjusted, so it should be relatively easy to follow. Hopefully you all know how the format works, but here’s a quick reminder.

Round 1 (Friday afternoon): Bixler twosomes vs RDGC twosomes in match play. The twosome with the lowest COMBINED SCORE each hole minus any strokes given based off handicaps win’s the hole. Whichever twosome wins the most holes over the round gets 4 points for their total team score. If the teams tie, each team gets 2 points. I’ll pow wow with one person, who I deem the most responsible/intelligent, to make sure everyone foursome knows what they are doing. The scorecards will be marked ahead of time on which holes which gives are given strokes on. REMEMBER TO KEEP YOUR SCORE FOR ALL HOLES, EVEN IF YOU HAVE CLOSED OUT YOUR OPPONENT.

Round 2 (Saturday morning): Two players from each team will be chosen at random to complete each foursome. This round will be a handicap weighted round between the four players in each foursome. The lowest handicap weighted score in the foursome with get 5 points for their team, second will get 3 points, third one point, and last zero points, because you suck. Again, the scorecards will be marked ahead of time to avoid any confusion.

Round 3 (Saturday afternoon): Scramble madness. Each scramble group will be composed of 4 players from their respective teams. For every stroke under par, a point will be awarded to the overall team score. For every stroke over par, a point will be subtracted. EVERY FOURSOME MUST USE A DRIVE AND A PUTT FOR EVERY PLAYER ON BOTH THE FRONT AND THE BACK NINE. We are shotgun starting this round, so for example if you are one of the teams starting on #16, you’ll just have to remember that you have 6 more chances to get everyone’s shots in when you finish with #10 through #15. Again, I will meet with whoever I deem most responsible/intelligent to make sure we’re covered there.

The RDGC v Bixler Match will be decided at the conclusion of the third round and prized will be awarded on the patio along with roughly 6,000 beers.

Round 4 (Sunday afternoon): The foursomes will be flighted, based on their round 1 and 2 scores. The lowest single round for each foursome will win their flight. All along we will all be competing for the RDGC Cup (medal play) and Bixler Blazer (net play) based on rounds 1, 2 and 4, so it’s absolutely mandatory to keep a legit score for all rounds.

Just to remind everyone, here are the on the course rules for the weekend. I off the course THERE ARE NO FUCKING RULES!!! APPLEBEES WILL BURN!

  • Make sure you play your ball all the way to completion on every hole. Yes, we are doing a match play event on Friday and if you are getting smoked, some of those later holes might not count for anything in that match, HOWEVER every hole counts for the Bixler and the RDGC. The moment you pick up your ball and say “just give me an 8.” BOOM, you are DNF-ed.
  • You get one mulligan all weekend. It’s on the first tee box at Cobblestone. No breakfast balls at Glendarrin or Noble Hawk. Don’t like your tee shot? That’s cool, re-tee and hit another one. Just realize you are hitting your third shot.
  • All putts “inside the leather” are good, but remember YOU STILL HAVE TO COUNT THAT STROKE. For example, let’s say you have a par putt, miss it “inside the leather”, and pick it up. You got a bogey on that hole, not a par. Once a putt is good, you can still putt it for practice, but guys, we have 24 people playing, nothing is more important than pace of play, so don’t do that shit when people are waiting.
  • For the sake of time, play everything like a hazard. If you lose your ball off the tee, don’t re-tee. Just drop a ball on the line that it went out of bounds and play from there. Remember, you will be hitting your third shot.
  • Speaking of lost balls, if you are looking for your ball and find three of lost balls before you find yours, that means it’s time to stop looking for your ball. Seriously, I’ll let you borrow some of my balls to finish the round (you’ll have to ask your mom for them though). No one wants to wait around while you say “HEY GUYS, A PROV1!” five times. If you can’t find your ball quickly, you are probably better off dropping one anyway.
  • It’s your responsibility to watch your own ball. Listen, my glasses look like fucking cold bottles, so I understand your struggle, fellow blind golfer. But don’t expect other people to know where your ball is. You can’t find it? Drop one, take your penalty, and move on.
  • Also for the sake of time, if you hit a shitty shot, but didn’t lose it, don’t hit another ball from the same place just for practice. Just hit a better shot on your first try. Practice shots are for the range.
  • If you haven’t noticed, almost everything I’m going to bring up has to do with pace of place. With 24 players, this really is our number one goal. JUST PLAY READY GOLF. Don’t worry about honors on the tee box, who is further out, blah, blah, blah. No one enjoys a 5 hour round of golf, so do everything you can to keep up with the group in front of you.
  • You are responsible for your own score, however it is also your responsibility to keep an eye on everyone in your group’s score. I know that no one we’d invite would be a big enough dick to actually shave strokes, but I’m certain we’ve invited some people who can’t fucking count. So you think so and so got an 8 on a hole, but he says he got a 7. Bring it up. If you need to bring it up every hole, do so. Hopefully he will learn how to count his own strokes. If it continues to be a problem, you can say something to me, but all I can do is say “everyone in your group thinks you are either retarded or a cheating asshole, get your shit together.” This weekend is all about a good time, so pretty please with a cherry on top respect the game, the tournament, and your fellow competitors.


We’re taking a huge step toward our final golf of live broadcasting the Kendallville Open this year. An app called “Status4″ should be able to provide us with a live handicapped scoreboard. It’s available for free on the iTunes app store and on Google Play, so unless you are out here using the Zune (shout out to Kevin) of smartphones, we should all be able to use it, except for old ass Wally and his flip one obviously.

Do me a favor, download this app and register your account using whatever email address I normally use for you. Also, not a bad idea to make your log in name your twitter handle. CROSS BRANDING SON! You should have a pending invitation for tKOCHO. That’s all you’ll have to do for now. The night before round one, I’ll enter in everyone’s official tKO handicap and we should be all set. As long as one person in each foursome enters in everyone’s score as they play a hole, we all should be able to follow the action live and see where we stand. A couple of us tried it out a month ago and it was awesome, until a hail storm moved in and ruined all our cars. But seriously, it’s really kewl. Even your adoring fans back home will be able to follow live with this app.

Here are the event codes to spectate each round. It should keep a running total over all three rounds as well.

Round 1: syad

Round 2: euju

Round 3: od7b

Please note that you’ll also need to keep your scores on the scorecards for the team events. Email me if you have any questions.

Don’t worry, I’ll still have the trusty ol’ spreadsheet to keep scores on, but this is just an added bonus. Want to know what you need to get on the back nine on Sunday to win the Blazer this year? Pull up the scoreboard, pull out the driver on #18 at Noble Hawk, then proceed to rinse it in the lake, card a 9, and finish in 8th place.

Only 10 days out, boys. Don’t bother shitting your pants over the 10 day forecast like I’ve already done twice. It’s a waste of time.


Y’all, that was a close one.

Today was supposed to be the first day of tKOCHO, traditionally held the weekend before Memorial Day. What’d it look like out your window this morning?


Straight up mizzy in Chicago this morning. How’d it look in the burbs?


That’s right. Snow. And Jeremy, it wasn’t just Robinson hating on me for trying to help you guys out. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!! Own up to it like a man. Next year we’re renaming the teams after Cameron and Ellie.

Anyway, we got two weeks for Mother Nature to get her shit right and raise the temperature about, I don’t know, FIFTY FUCKING DEGREES. In the mean time, this should help everyone get through this Polar Vortex.

Shout out to Ben for finding this gem. That guy is a worse driver than Danny.

I put the finishing touches on somethings this week, like the bus and a few other surprises, so my credit card is on fire. If anyone wants to send me their $75 entry fee over Chase Quick pay, I’m more than happy to take it now. Don’t try to send me that shit over Pay Pal though, just bring cash to tKO instead.

Alright boys, expect a few more posts over the next two weeks. Not having tKONN around this year has been brutal on the content. Quick check of Fairway Files, and it looks like Chris still needs two rounds and Paul Blart needs one. Get on it, boys. Andre is ready to pounce on your spot the moment you guys slip up.


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